Nihilist

She has faith, but I thought I'd never believe in anything again.
It's been a long road for me.
Don't blame me if I lie about all the places I've been
Because in all those years I haven't found a lot of hope.

She has a family, but I don't think I'll ever feel at home anywhere.
I'm worse than the black sheep
Don't expect me to settle down and live like someone cares
I've wandered the streets and slept in alleys where no one walks.

She has plans, but I never think of anything but how to survive.
It's been this way all my life
Don't expect me to do much more than keep myself alive.
How can I, when I'm still seeing destruction in my dreams.

She had love, but I only remember all the rejections.
I've never been wanted.
Don't expect me to believe that you could be an exception.
I know how it ends already, I'm just waiting for the drop.

She is everything I want to believe in
But I don't believe in anything except the certainty of disaster.