DNC Sues: The Russian Federation, The GRU, The Trump Campaign, Jared Kushner, John Does 1-326,000,000 - I Hurt Myself Laughing

If you haven't heard about the DNC suing the Trump Campaign, Russia, Wikileaks, for all colluding against them during the 2016 election, they have done so. In Federal District Court up in Manhattan. Because, you know, why not file suit in Manhattan? Is it the Trump Campaign's domicile? Who cares - they're literally suing Russia AND Russia's top secret intelligence committee. There's, like, ten layers of irony and Sovereign immunity here. This suit might violate international treaties between the US and Russia for all I know. But since this won't survived a 12(b) motion (pick one), I doubt that will even come up.

We are looking at some real apeshit things going on at the DNC. Let's review their pleading, briefly. There's a rule of construction in pleadings, you are about to set your own standards before the court. You're telling them what you will prove and by what standard. So, don't make it harder for yourself than it needs to be. Don't use adjectives and adverbs, those are for juries. If you would care to count the adjectives here...

That's a lot of things to prove, even by the preponderance of the evidence. Proving that an anonymous person is a person is just - oof - so hard. And this isn't even the worst. They go on to allege that the Trump Campaign was complicit in the DNC hack and that the Russians were, affirmatively, the ones who supplied the hacked information to Wikileaks.

This whole thing reeks of bad faith and they better have a good faith basis to make these claims - other than "The Washington Post told me it was true, so here we are, dick-in-hand."

Don't believe me? It's paragraph 4.

This dumpster fire of a political party has gone on long enough. Someone, please, put an end to its suffering, and the now international embarrassment that the DNC causes our nation. What a Jeb! of a political party.