Sorry to hear of your struggles Eric. I'm a psychotherapist who works with a lot of men who've experienced sexual trauma and porn addiction seems to be a common coping strategy for many of them. I'm not saying you have experienced this but to let you know you're not alone in this and that porn addiction is a recognised and serious condition. I would advise you to seek professional help as it sounds like this is becoming a big problem for you, impacting your quality of life and ability to be in relationships. Maybe join an online support group as this can help you feel less alone and connecting with others who will understand and are going through similar struggles can be a great source of support. I wish you all the best and hope you find a way to move through this difficult time in your life.