Whats going on in my mind

Sometimes i try to think.. And try to be deep and self fulfilling sometimes i think that for the sake of being advanced and civilized ( careless with morals), I tend to have a split personality . One personality belongs to the age long traditions and cultures of our ancestors and some watered down versions of it. It belongs to the "backward" culture, culture that has strong beliefs in it faith. The culture I was born into.. The other personality is the "progressive" personality, this personality makes me lazy and then gives me reasons for being lazy. This personality endears to the fast moving and trendy culture of the European and American world. This personality looks to the future and its possibilities.
Am conflicted, I feel shallow in both personalities.. Not really belonging. My life seems to be at a stand still. I doubt myself a lot and with a very critical mind demean at every turn.. Maybe am more but then it really is true that I am a shallow person with nothing to offer, nothing to give to the world, but my senseless writings. I wish I knew who I were, or who I should be, but I'm conflicted.. That's the f****d up stuff that goes on in my mind... I can only share this because its a platform where no one knows me.