Self-disclosure
American psychologist Henry Murray (1893-1988) developed a theory of personality.
The theory of personality is telling us that a reflection of our behaviors controlled by our needs is making our personalities. In Murray's opinion our needs are divided into two groups:
Primary Needs: The needs of this group are deeply seated in our nature and are primary need such as the need for oxygen, food, and water.
Secondary Needs: The needs that are temporary, changing and generally psychological such as independence, they are essential for psychological well-being.
According to Murray's needs groups, the secondary needs function mostly on the unconscious level but play a major role in our personality. Murray and his colleagues identified 24 needs and said that each person has a certain level of each need which plays a major part in shaping his unique personality and because of that each person's personality differs from the others.
Another psychologist who certainly talks about self-disclosure is Karen Horney. According to theorist Horney, this behavior is due to a neurotic need for affection, fondness and approval. Horney in her writings mentioned that how a self-disclosure personality is formed and what are the symptoms in adults.
But here I want to talk about self-disclosure briefly and introduce 10 of its most common symptoms. But first, let's have a definition.
Self-disclosure or in non-academic words the illness of keeping people satisfied is a behavioral disorder and self-conscious which low self-steam people suffer from. People doing everything to be the best in the others opinion and this is the way to keep their problems and anger hidden. You may have seen this kind of people in your family or friends, or maybe you are one of them! The most significant symptom of self-disclosure is not feeling happy or satisfied in privacy and omitting this feeling instead of treating.
The other symptoms are mentioned below:
They extremely avoid stress and tension
When you want to test if someone is self-disclosure or not, try to challenge them. Self-disclosure kind won't persist on what he thinks and will easily give up.
The lack of self-assertive and confidence
They hide if they are in a group to avoid being asked a question or having a responsibility to do something. The lowest standards are chosen when these kinds of people have to make a decision.
They pay attention to others more than it is needed
Parents are usually doing this, when their child/children want to be independent, parents do not let them be. Think of the situation below:
A teenager decides to go abroad for studying alone. If his parents are self-disclosure they will try to change his mind. In spite of the parent’s efforts, they couldn't succeed and the boy persists on going. The next step parents are going to do is to torment the son by feelings of guilty conscience. As a result, the son is not going.
People paying too much attention to others, they usually have unreal expectations.
They can't say NO to others
When you ask them to do something, they wouldn't pay attention to their situation and needs and will say YES and they will never reject you. Imagine you are traveling with a self-disclosure person. He wants to go to the north of the country and you suggest going to the south. He will accept your suggestion to avoid tension.
They try to draw others attention in an extreme way
When they start communicating, they bombard others with kindness and try to attract others attention. But after a while because of not being thanked enough, they leave that group and try to find other victims!
They never ask others for help
Even in the worst situations, they can't ask others for help and if someone offered to help them, in the most possibility they deny.
They avoid being happy
Being happy and enjoying life is a sign of a successful, healthy life. Yet a self-disclosure counts himself as a loser to draw others attention. Consequently, they will blame themselves for any frustrations.
They always complain about everything
As soon as they have the opportunity, they will grumble about the unbearably, unsafe if not disturbing life. They usually have weak body language and they mutter to themselves.
This type of people don't break their comfort zone, so most of the time they can't do something properly and completely. Therefore they list failures, lack of successes when someone asks abouttheir life. If they were asked to start a new business, they will reject, saying they are not ready to start.
They apologize in all situations
In a group, when a problem appears usually self-disclosures are the first apologizing. Even if a problem occurs for their relatives, they will blame themselves for that.
**They are always dependent **
This type is always searching for a hero and the first reliable one is accepted. But after a while to the most possibility they are going to change the hero and do the things that are the best in their opinion.
Are you a self-disclosure personality type? If you want to know if you are, do the test below.
The YES answer to more than 6 of the sentences below, is showing a self-disclosure person.
- It is important for me to beloved form everyone.
- For attracting others attention, I do a lot of effort.
- Others needs and priorities are more important than mine.
- I do my best to be calm and control my anxiety.
- I do others offers and pay attention to others needs before doing mine.
- I afraid of being blamed by someone or if someone gets angry with me, I really feel ashamed.
- I try hard to avoid tension and I'm always searching for peace.
- I usually do the things myself and it is less probable to involve others.
- For attracting others attention I always devotes my time, money or many other things.
- I can't say NO when someone asks me to do something for him. Even if I rejected doing something, I would feel guilty.
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