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RE: Psychology Addict # 42 | Me & The Uber Driver + The Art of Listening

in #psychology6 years ago

I love watching people talk about problems and the answers come out of their mouths, around to the ears and bingo 😁

There are people I've really struggled to converse with in the past. When they have finished a vast array of points and there is silence, they will immediately latch onto the first few words of a reply and start again. I find myself withdrawing from these people and conversations very quickly - fighting for airtime is not my thing.

Another fabulous read this Friday afternoon, thank you for sharing your knowledge with us again today @abigail-dantes.

Wishing you a fabulous weekend of sunshine and free taxi rides! 😁

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they will immediately latch onto the first few words of a reply and start again

Gosh Asher, this is SO true. But then again, some people are complex to the point that they don't even know how to be listened to :/

You too have a wonderful weekend filled with sunshine & smiles (and, why not, a free taxi journey too 😛)

some people are complex to the point that they don't even know how to be listened to

I had to read this a couple of time and have a good think!

What is causing this phenomenon I wonder? Are they not expecting the person in front of them to heed their words? Low self-worth, a mind too busy with thoughts and no space to take on new ideas?

This sounds very troublesome to me. :(

Oh Asher, you are a thinker! 😊

a mind too busy with thoughts and no space to take on new ideas?

This could be the case of individuals who rate high on neuroticism (one of the Big Five personality traits), or ruminators.

Are they not expecting the person in front of them to heed their words?

This might apply to people who are frightened to get in touch with themselves; being listened to, perhaps, makes their anxious, intrusive thoughts even louder.

What is causing this phenomenon I wonder?

From a more generic perspective, I believe that, people don't know what it is like to be listened to Asher. Imagine someone from their childhood years to their adulthood. How many times in their household, school and relationships proper communication takes place? Not most of the time.

Sadly, I am convinced this is the reality of most people. Back in the day, people had their neighbor from down the road, the best friend from school who still lives in the same town, the priest and so on. As these values and social structures change many other things get lost in the process :/ including the fundamental skills to establish proper communication.

Thank you for taking the time to provide this additional insight Abigail.

The last point with regards to changing social structures is a worry, and perhaps almost irriversable as we progress into the technological age.

This makes me think about my daughter who as a young child would listen and empathise really well. I hope she can make it though her teenage years with this skill still intact.

Thanks again, I enjoy gaining knowledge and being provoked into thought each week here 😊

'Fighting for airtime' - I'll remember that one! It's exactly how that feels. It takes a huge chunk of my energy to converse with people like that and I often end up giving up and just 'let them have it' :-)