A mad man tale: The shadow

Sometimes I feel like a shadow, a faint brushstroke of the person I used to be. All the energy, the motivation, the desire, the impulse has vanished, leaving only the basics to survive every day, being mechanical, simply "existing", letting myself be carried away by the current. Remembering, perplexed, the motivated, enterprising and innovative man who used to be, full of energy and strength to face new challenges and be the best in each aspect of life; Now I'm the opposite, what you always hate.

What happened? How did this happen? For many reasons: problems, shortcomings, disappointment, frustrations, poorly managed failures, loneliness, isolation, not asking for help, not being able to carry out certain projects ... all that was diminishing my spirit, dismantling what it was piece by piece.

I see in others what I was and it seems incredible, I feel that I have been left behind, lagging forever; This instead of propelling me only makes me stagnate more, staying in the hollow, in my comfort zone only contemplating how others do wonderful things, only with the desire to do so, while I decide to remain inert, without even daring to ask for help or advice .

The truth is that I want to get out of this, it is my greatest wish, I want to be back to what I used to be, but I don't know how, I don't even know how to ask for help, I don't know how to start over, I don't know how to motivate myself, I don't know how to leave of being just a shadow.