How to Respond Angry / Emotional Emails in a Professional Way?

Abstract: If you are a working professional, you have most probably been in a situation where you have had to reply to angry work mails. The question is how?

Almost everyone has been in a similar situation. You receive an email that really puts you off balance. The other person sending you the mail might be angry or frustrated but that doesn’t absolve you from replying. Not only this, you have to do it in a professional manner. So, how should you go about doing this? This is the biggest query.

Email: An effective communication tool
Email is still one of the most important and effective ways of office communication. As such, the course that you take in the above situation will determine your career path. Even if you think the other person started it and you are just going for tit for tat; that doesn’t mean that your bosses will agree with you. And with no mistake of your own, you may end up damaging yourself. It is therefore crucial that you should have a plan ready beforehand. This plan will help you address the issue in a more professional way.
We, understand that even replying normal emails is a whole subject to be mastered let alone angry / emotional emails. But it is our hope that the following steps will help you achieve just that.

Step 1: Respond not react
You may like to go for a second reading of the email. Might be it doesn’t sound so offensive the second time. Even if it doesn’t, just don’t start typing away. Your boss or colleague did just that. And look at the result. They let their emotions get a hold of them. And as such they have not been able to keep themselves professional. The rule here is to respond, not react. What this means is that you take a moment and don’t immediately start typing what you are feeling. This break will help you recollect your thoughts. You will be able to come up with a strategy. And this way you will be able to avoid doing something that you might regret later.

And emailing gives you the freedom to respond after taking a break. In a face to face conversation you might not get the time to think and then respond. But in replying to an email, you can always take some time before you reply. You may like to have a glass of water or take a stroll. Anything that will help you calm down and start thinking in a rational way again. Even if the email is urgent and warrants a timely response, you can always find a couple of minutes in between.

Step 2: Consider the whole picture
Make sure you are not just seeing half the picture. Zoom out and try to read the fine print. Try and see it from the perspective of the sender. Perhaps it will help you take a different view of the situation. Try and see it from a different perspective. The other person’s perspective, if possible. Granted it is not easy. But once you master this skill, you will find answering to such emails much easier. More often than not, we only get fixated with certain words or sentences in the email. And we cannot focus on the whole picture. This may be termed as tunnel vision. Remember such people are always at a disadvantage.

Step 3: Keep it to the point
As there might be a chance of a misunderstanding, you should try and give the other person the benefit of the doubt. This means that your response should be only to the professional matter at hand. Don’t bother yourself with the emotional part of the email. You will only get your own hands dirty and nothing else. Practice self-discipline. Stick to the point and keep the reply as brief as possible. This doesn’t mean that you leave out the important stuff. Not at all, it only means that you include only and only the essentials.

You can only select one main theme for your reply and then structure your reply around it. This implies that if someone is doubting your credibility while asking for some data that you had provided earlier, you only send back the required data to validate your earlier email. And under no circumstances start defending yourself and launch a counter barrage of critique against the sender. If you do this, remember you are not better than the other guy. Some people are not just good at communication. And they might not have meant anything by their email, it is just that they phrased it wrongly. So, by just sticking to the essentials you can also avoid potential misunderstandings. And the matter instead of being prolonged can be finished quickly.

Step 4: Avoid sarcasm and ironic remarks
Even if you feel that there is a need to clarify certain things. Never use sarcasm or be ironic. Rather with a clear conscience approach the issue. And discuss it in a straight forward manner. This will help you resolve the matter. After all that’s what you want, right?

Step 5: Seek Help
If it is not a confidential matter, you can always seek counsel. Perhaps your colleague has more experience in dealing with your angry boss. And can help you in devising a way out of the stick situation. Two heads are always better than one. It is always good to be a team player rather than just trying to go it alone. You colleague may be able to explain to you that the sender has a unique personality, and their email should not be viewed out of context. They can help you build that context. They may even have a few trick up their sleeves, which they can show you to diffuse the situation.

Whenever you are faced with such a situation, always remember not to feel offended. Don’t take things personal. Their emails are a reflection of them, not you. It shows that they might be frustrated, angry or emotionally unbalanced. This doesn’t mean that you start acting in a similar fashion. Show that you can rise above the situation, and see it exactly for what it is. Emotions don’t have any place in office related manners.

Author’s bio: The author’s name is “Jack Donald”. He holds a Master’s in Business Administration. Since graduation he has been a part of the corporate world.
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