RE: Psychology Addict # 29 |The Architecture of Sustainable Happiness – Positive Psychology
Looks like this one is for me. Although I too was a little "worried", when you talked about Extraversion
is amongst the most notable correlates of happiness
But then again, since I know now, after reading on, that I most likely inherited the happy spirit of my parents, I got over it quickly :-)
I find myself in most of what you say contributes to happiness, gratitude playing a big role. Thing is, I don't "practice" it, like a task I have to do more or less periodically. Its more of a general attitude. And when something great happens, I hesitate for a moment and let that thankful feeling flow through me. Of course, "great" means something different for everyone. For me it can be a comment here or my mother coming by with some cookies ;-)
I found it funny, when you wrote about
the participants who undertook the exercise three times a week for one month and a half. It turns out that their well-being decreased a little
It reminded me, of how I was often amazed when I lived in the States and there always seemed to be a formula for everything. Of course, many things actually worked a lot better than in Europe, which to me feels more "analog", compared to "digital" in the so called new world. Not sure if that makes any sense. What I'm trying to say is, when everyone in a society follows a certain procedure and knows the rules, a system is more efficient. Of course every society has these "rules" and rituals, but for an outsider, in the US they seemed to me more "scientific". I even saw it in something like dating. It was amazing, how my friends followed a kind of procedure, with predetermined turning points and reactions. European approach appears rather chaotic in many areas... at least in my generation. But with what might appear chaotic, another element comes in, which I see as freedom... and to come back to the subject: you are not grateful because of a set schedule or because you are supposed to be, but because you just are.
There is this Swiss happiness researcher, forgot his name... and he compared people with jobs, I mean working for someone with those self employed (on equal "career levels"). All the facts actually put self employed people in the disadvantage. They have to work more for less money, must take higher risks, no spare time, high responsibility and so on. Nevertheless, the self employed were generally happier and he explained it with the level of freedom and self determination.
Forgiveness is something I too had my problems with for a long time. No issue on more minor things and I can go along for quite a while. But when I feel someone really stabbed me in the back, I used to remain hostile forever (almost). I now learned, and I think its probably one of the benefits of getting older, that it is actually me, who simply had a wrong expectation. Its not necessarily the other one who changed or did something. On my side, its me, who wanted or expected something and it didn't happen that way... Of course I'm no saint and we all have people we just don't like or get along with. But holding a grudge and focusing ones thoughts on them or a particular issue is really just a waste of time and energy. Its better to go and do the dishes, if nothing else helps ;-)
Reading your beautiful post raised my already high level of happiness even a little more and I am really glad and grateful that I stumbled over your b&w photo with the glasses a few weeks ago...
Hello my dearest @reinhard-schmid
I am so pleased to hear you liked this post. I confess that I thought of you when I was writing about gratitude, as this is something that always comes across on your comments. You never fail to mention how grateful you are for your parents, wife, job etc... maybe this is why you cannot relate to it as a 'practice', as it is rather part of who you are :) and this why you are able to find happiness in a comment or cookies.
I found your comparison of the North American and European culture and how you associated it to the Swiss study very interesting. There is a lot to be said about the sense of freedom, particularly when it comes to subjective well-being.
Ahahahah, absolutely, doing the dishes is much, much better than holding grudges. And I must say this is the most practical, objective strategy for 'letting things go' that I have ever heard! Ahahah :) Excellent!
Ooohhhh I remember your first comment on my blog (on that photo post, of course!). I am very grateful that you have found my blog too my dear. Thank you for your constant support!
I wish you and you wife a wonderful Saturday evening!
All the best to you both always.
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