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RE: Pornography and Me: How and why I escaped.
Thank you @matroschka for this insight. It just fell in to place. "Delete history" makes sense: by re-experiencing the same pain it blunts it somehow, but also keeps the trauma alive, needing more re-living. Never thought about it this way before, thanks again!
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Thank you @vander
Freud (for all his flaws) called this idea of 'keeping the trauma alive' the Unconscious Compulsion to Repeat. The only way out of unconscious repetition, for me and others, was to observe actions in the present and look for their origin in the past. What is remembered is no longer acted-out.
Thanks for reading!