A Tragic Anniversary

in #ptsd6 years ago (edited)

This was going to be a Steepshot post about a funny thing that happened this morning, but I decided to do it separately, because today is the anniversary of something tragic that happened in our family. My stepbrother, Jay, lost his life 4 years ago today. He was an Army vet, and he lost his battle with PTSD.

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He, my step-sister, and my step-mom had moved from Wisconsin to Colorado several years prior. At Christmas time, they traveled back to Wisconsin, and he wanted to stay behind.

I was 7 when my dad married my stepmom. Jay, at 8 years old, was the closest in age, and the youngest of my stepmom's children. We got along okay, but bickered a lot too. He got into trouble as a teen, and was encouraged to join the Army. He ended up serving in Afghanistan in 2004-2005. The last time we spoke was at my grandma's funeral 11 years ago, when he was pretty fresh out of combat. He spoke of being in Afghanistan, saying that the locals there would be nice, shaking your hand one minute, and the next minute, they'd be blowing themselves up. He said he lost some of his friends and fellow soldiers because of it. When we parted ways, we hugged, and the last thing he said to me was, "If you need anything, let me know. Maybe we could get coffee sometime." I never took him up on that offer, and I regret it to this day...

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It was still morning when I received the news. I cried my eyes out the first few days of course. The funeral was in Wisconsin, and bringing him home from Colorado was a painstaking ordeal. The memorial services were about a week later. It wasn't the kind of atmosphere I've ever experienced before or since, because he died too young. He also has 2 children... this did not need to happen...

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A couple of weeks ago, my stepmom came across a vet, and shared this on FB:

To the Vet outside Kwik Trip today, I hope you are ok. You said in your Jay voice... Ma'am I'm ok. I wish you knew I thought I saw a ghost when I saw you. I hope what little I gave you was ok. When I pulled away you gave me a Jay nod and it brought tears to my eyes. Please if anyone sees a vet in need... Do something, anything.

We would all do well to heed her words. If you see a vet in need...Do something...Do anything.

Thanks for reading

Love, snowpea ❤

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I’m so sorry for your loss and upset that this didn’t need to happen. A country needs to look after its veterans, especially those that served in combat zones.
If it doesn’t then people won’t be willing to fight for it and it will fall.
I honor his memory and his service.

Posted using Partiko iOS

Thank you @apshamilton. Indeed, we need to take better care of them.

Sorry for your loss.

We lost a guy after he got out recently which reminded me how much of a threat this is among all ranks, active or veteran. They made us go through suicide prevention training every year.

Sending prayers of comfort for you and your family.

Posted using Partiko Android

True, we tend to focus on vets, even though those who still serve are at risk... Your kind words and prayers mean a lot. Thank you for your service as well.

What a tragic thing to happen, so sorry to hear about your loss and I can't imagine your pain lessening all these years. I'm sure Jay is in a much happier place now and no longer suffering.

Some tears were definitely shed while writing this post. Thank you for your thoughtful comment.

Wow, we should always be aware and available, hurting people are everywhere. Thanks for sharing this, @snowpea, hopefully it'll help some others.

I hope so too. ❤️

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