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It is Wednesday, and that means that I want to have a bit of a rant. What I am going to rant about, who do I feel the need, needs a swift kick in the ass? Well, that person is me. You may be asking, 'why would you rant about yourself?' Well, you see, I try to keep a high standard for myself, continually striving to be better in every aspect of life, improve every day and reach higher till I can touch the heavens and punch angels. However, I feel as though I am falling short of my own expectations, and I don't know how to deal with that, right now.

I wanted to be a fantastic teacher, I feel like a joke. I thought I would save enough money to pay off my student debt this year comfortably; I am barely above my minimum level of saving. I thought I was going to master guitar and Korean this year, I have barely made any time for guitar, and my Korean is still laughable. So, this is a kind of a time capsule post. I want to look back on this in a year and see how I improved, and wonder why I was worrying like I am now as I make some solutions to these problems.

The Teaching Problem

I've mentioned this in other posts that teaching here is so much different than back home. It is not only the cultural differences and the difference in teaching ESL to EFL, but it is also just the students. I previously thought that the students just don't respect their foreign teacher, but they don't respect most of their teachers, it is fucking insane how rude some of these students are. I almost got expelled from school twice and would come high as a kite and tripping balls, so if that isn't saying something, then I don't know, man. When I try to reprimand students, it falls just flat, and nothing is accomplished more often than not.

The Solution

I have started to learn to stop taking myself so seriously as a teacher in Korea. Do I wish to be John Keating and inspire students to be better, yes. However, I'm coming to terms with the fact that I am just the 'fun' teacher and that about half the students here just suck. I started punishing the whole class, hoping that would curb the bad students' behaviors, but they don't give a fuck if the rest get punished. So, I need to figure out how to reprimand the students that misbehave effectively.

I should also do more lessons that take advantage of art because that is about the only time that I can get full participation from students. Also, make more explicit rules and how punishments will be dealt, because I have been trying a progressive method where students make their own rules at the start of the semester, but that is just not working at all.

Handling my Debt

I thought that I could save around five hundred to a thousand dollars a month while teaching here. I was doing great the first semester, was saving about a thousand a month. Then, I got an apartment and things kinda when straight south as far as saving. I just recently checked how much I had saved this semester... I have been spending everything in each check. I don't even know how I have managed to spend that much in a month. So, I am hoping to cut back a lot now, so that I can pay off my student debt by next Christmas.

The Solution

This will take a lot of self-discipline on my part. I usually pay with my debit card, so I have no idea how much I have left when I use it. So, when I get paid, I will take out enough to keep a thousand left over in the bank, whatever I have in cash, I can spend. It will force me to save that thousand a month; then by Christmas of this year, I should have a good present for myself, no debt to worry about!... Yeah, that should work at least... just have to pretend the money on my card does not exist. lol

My Guitar Skills

I have this terrible habit of getting a guitar, playing it for about a month, getting pretty good. Then, I get busy, I stop playing it and forget nearly everything. I have just done that again, I got the thing played it a while, and now it collects dust. Makes me feel like a douche for having a guitar but not being able to play more than three songs on it.

The Solution

I need to schedule a time to play it like Tuesdays and Thursday nights just sit with it and learn a few songs or something and just practice.

My Korean

Okay, this is something that I have actually been working on the past couple of weeks. I wasn't setting time aside to study Korean because I was writing my blogs at work. The other problem is that I don't listen well to Korean. I've been studying Korean for almost two years now, and I barely speak beyond an elementary level. I really thought I would improve a lot more my first year of teaching in Korea, but I found out I use English a lot more than I expected when meeting friends and stuff.

The Solution

I cut back on the number of days I post on Steemit, from every day to Mon, Wed, and Fridays. This loosened up my schedule so I could focus on studying more and get through my books. My lover is also going to help me by speaking more Korean straight at me and use less English between us. That will help me listen a lot better and practice my speaking skills with her. Then, I should watch more Korean shows to practice the listening as well.

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Ride on!