BEST PUNCHLINES EVER

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"A wise man told me that holding a grudge is like letting somebody just live inside of your head rent free."
Royce Da 5'9 on "Detroit Vs. Everybody"

"No disrespect in terms of change/I haven't seen any/Maybe he had good intentions but was stifled by the system/And was sad he couldn't bring any"
J. Cole

"Every song talking 'bout they selling work on every corner/Don't talk about the laws/Taking kids away from mommas"
Lecrae "Nuthin"

"Them kids ain't have no guns/And the police knew it/Jay need to talk to Obama/Or let me do it"
Uncle Murda on "Hands Up"

"I done been through a whole lot/Trials tribulations but I know God/Satan wanna put me in a bowtie/Pray that the holy water don't go dry"
Kendrick Lamar "i"

"Touch one of mine/Right or wrong I'ma kill them/Fill them with the lead like they/Put in Martin Luther King's head/Like they killed Malcolm X/Edgar Hoover did that"

"If the kids are the future/Tell me why you can get more for being C.O./Than you can for being a teacher"
T.I. featuring Skylar Grey "New National Anthem"

"It's hard for a tree to grow/When father figures leave"
Common

"Realize that I'm the best at this/And I don't got to wear a dress to be addressing it"
Lil' Mama

"Cops pulling ratchets on unarmed black kids/Let the body lay/Won't even tell us what happened/Bet you they close the case faster than the casket"
Rain 910

"If she woke up like that she need to go back to sleep" (And the entire rundown with Papoose of women beside powerful men.)
Remy Ma

"I'll be damned if the only Latin rep is Joseline Hernandez"
Snow Tha Product

"Where the white rappers when they mowed Mike Brown* down/Nowhere to be found"
David Banner
"I put my name on my dick so you know who you’re fuckin with"

"i fucked her when she was leaving, i guess im #byesexual"

“Bitch, I’ll Jacks in (Jackson) your ass like Micheal”

"I'm the verbal spit Smith and Wesson/I unload with sick spit and quick wit to split a split second"

"Rap now ain't nothing but a circus of clowns/ a whole lot of lip from cliques I probably rap circles around"

"I'm the next best to reach a peak formerly known/ as the best kept secret I guess that i just leaked it"

"Dancin with the devil leadin, I won't die, I'm never leavin/ I pledge allegiance to forever breathin"

"My momma ain't raise no fool
because my momma ain't raise me fool"

"Yo wait a minute savior, how about a little truth?
You couldn't save yourself if you had a cape and a phone booth."
Slug

"suck my dick" - Penis

"This shit is eternal, I rock the heavens well
Even if they won't let me in heaven, I raise hell, 'till it's heaven"
-Jay Z, 7 Minute Freestyle

"Fuckin' punk, you ain't a leader what, nobody followed you
You was never shit, your mother should've swallowed you"
-Big L, '98 Freestyle

"The Tech is my utensil
Fillin *****z with so much lead they can use they dick for a pencil
Im known for snatchin purses, n bombin churches
I get more pussy by accident than most *****z get on purpose
I got drug spots from New York to Canada
Cos Big L be fuckin with more keys than a Janitor"
Big L

"The crown is still mine cause I drop ill rhymes // A lot of rappers talk that murder shit and couldn't kill time"
Big L

"Over money and religion there's more blood to spill
The wounds of slaves in cotton fields that never heal
What's the deal?
A lot of cats who buy records are straight broke
But my language universal they be recitin my quotes
While R&B singers hit bad notes, we rock the boat
of thought, that my man Louis' statements just Provoked"
Talib Kweli

*****z want me dead but they're scared to step to me
rip they gutz out like a hysterectomy

"I get imaginative with a mouth full of adjectives,
a brain full of adverbs, and a box full of laxatives (shittin on rappers)"
-Eminem - Still Don't Give A Fuck

"I leave *****z confused like homeless on house arrest"
"You sold ya cd for 99 cents but, a blank cd's a dollar 50, you'd make more if you'd shut the fuck up"
"Just because I stand over you doesn't mean you understand me"

"Ran in the ladies room naked in a blanket
At the banquet and started to spank it"

"I told my crips I'll fuck the blood up like HIV."

"Beef with me is like a common cold, it comes with the coughin (coffin)"

"I stack bread while you spending ya dough,
I must-stash like the hair between ya lip and ya nose"

"If i was a blood id spilt the C like im moses"

'I don't hate players, I don't love the game
I'm the shot clock, way above the game'

"God Gave Me Brains In Both Heads,
So Everytime I Masterbate 'I'ma Stroke Of Genius' "
Vakill

"You wouldn't get signed if you had a white cast on your leg"
Chino XL

"I rock a beat harder then you could beat it with rocks"
Eminem

"You Could Date A Stick Of Dynamite And Wouldn't Go Out With A Bang"
Eminem

"You beef wit me, I'ma even the score equally
Take you on Jerry Springer, and beat yer ass legally "
Eminem

"Look look, they hearts racin'
They start chasin'
But I'm so fast when I blow past
That they can't BREATHE
In the presence of the man
Your future looks better than ya past if you present with the man
You betta BREATHE "

"You'll probably miss an exam to hear me kick it and scram
And you wouldn't drop an album if it slipped from your hand"
Wordsworth

"The only way I’m seein time behind bars is if it’s a Cartier"
Fabolous

"I lift every voice when I sing
My ability, make yours look like an exercise in futility"
Jay-Z

It’s funny how your bank balance got more figures than your girl
That ponytail got you thinking that you’s agirl
That’s why you Nigga gossip,now it’s time to see the hell
Your ex,she left you for another Nigga
And that’s the Sh!t that got your fat belly bigger
Focus on your marriage,can’t you see you are played?
When you were broke your Fiance couldn’t get you laid
But after posting your bank balance she gave you the plate
Now when I speak the truth they’ll say I hate
You dropped Mama I made it then your Granny died
Your ex couldn’t stand the look of you when your pony was dyed
After dropping Composure your mom was admitted at the hospital
But I have helped,at least there is someone SICK in your family
Dr Forbes is a cannibal,he got no patients (patience)
Imma crash your bones so easy like you suffer from rickets
Your girl’s freestyle at Club 808 is doper than your back to back
You a Fucking backstabber and that’s why
you gonna put a 7 in my back
Imma use my white hands to break your dirty neck
You buying Rolex while all you need is a
dictionary,Nigga grammar is all you lack
Dust to dust,Ashes to Ashes..Nah! Nigga
pray to your God
Coz you the one who’s gonna be 6feet like
an arthropod
I didn’t want the Sh!t to be personal
But you pushed me,I got no mercy(Messi)
now welcome to my Arsenal
Screaming about his so-called queen,Niggas
be flexing
Where was she when your sis used her last
penny so that you could pay for a taxi?
My songs are mind-blowing,they be killing
your family
Guess who’s next? It was a mistake to
choose SupaMega as your enemy
I am worldwide,my diss trended at UK
Aka 47, I throw a party on tuesday
You date a girl who can show her A$$ for
charity
Just imagine what she can do for the
money
All my music got the muhFvcking quality
“Everybody hates Chris”,but your Bitch calls
him honey

lil wayne lines
"My cocaine white as a white beluga, I like bazookas."
"From here to Hell, I hear them hail, I give them hell, I'm spittin' hail, I'm Clinton, well, I did inhale"
"Holy shit, I'm the holy shit, I'm God's manure"
"I was larger than life, should've got a bigger coffin"
Oh, momma hate I got my daddy’s eyes / Never looked into my daddy’s eyes, he ain't have the time"
"I turn around, run backwards to see what second place look like"
"I faced my fears and told them motherfuckers y'all too gorgeous"
"Please pardon my restroom but Tunechi got the longest shit list"
comment your favorite rapper and some of his punchlines
J-cole
hopsin
2-pac
Lil- wayne
Drake
Ice cube
Big sean
2 chains
NAS
Kendrick Lamar
Ghostface Killah
Lauryn Hill
Andre 3000
Eminem
Notorious B.I.G.
Kanye West