Being good at rejection is also a science
Rejection is an art, a kind of learning, and even more a kind of ability. Successfully reject the other party, concise and full of power, make the other party impeccable, this reflects a person's strong thinking ability and ability to do things.
On the Internet, some people have summed up the words of different people cleverly rejecting others.
The leader will say this: "I see, this matter needs to be discussed later."
The pretty girl would say: "You look so much like my brother." A good friend would say: "Excuse me, I'm on a business trip at the moment."
Customers will say: "I bought a product that is exactly the same as your company not long ago."
Experts will say something like this: "After going home, study this new book carefully."
The president will say this: "Let the vice president answer this question."
In daily life, when we hear such words, we should understand: You were rejected by the other party. However, you will find that you are not very sad because of this rejection, and you are happy to accept it. This is the art of rejection.
A young and beautiful actress with perfect figure admires the great writer Bernard Shaw very much. She put aside the restraint of a girl and bravely proposed to Bernard Shaw: "I have a beautiful appearance, a perfect figure, and you have a genius mind. We are really talented and beautiful, a match made in heaven. After we get married, the child born will be perfect, he will have your wisdom and my beauty."
However, Bernard Shaw didn’t like her, and he didn’t want to marry her. But a girl put aside her reserved proposal and refused to hurt her self-esteem directly. So Bernard Shaw said euphemistically: “It’s good if it’s like you said, but If the situation is just the opposite, for example, our child just grows up like me, with a mind like yours, wouldn’t it be bad?”
The way Bernard Shaw rejected an actress was to successfully use the expression of rejection of art. Under the actress’s wishful and enthusiastic marriage proposal, although he was reluctant, he did not directly reject it. Instead, he followed the actress’s thinking and found it in her words. Rejecting the opportunity, in the end, he found the worst case among the various genetic possibilities to overthrow the actress's point of view. As a result, the actress had to compromise and give up the proposal.
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Bernard Shaw rejected the actress's show of affection in such a simple, relaxed and humorous manner, which reflected his ability to refuse in interpersonal communication. The clever refusal lies in the cleverly hiding the meaning of "no" in every sentence you say. In a pleasant conversation with the other party, let him slowly realize the impropriety of his request without hurting the other party. , Also left a way for myself.
On the surface, people who reject others seem to be in an active position. However, many people tend to adopt a straightforward approach in order to completely reject other people's requests at one time, so as not to entangle them in every possible way.
Doing so may hurt each other, lose friends, or even turn friends into enemies, making yourself more and more passive in future interpersonal interactions. Therefore, sometimes it is a smart choice to adopt a retreat strategy when rejecting others.
All in all, rejection is an ability. If you want to learn to refuse, you must put an end to the following three phenomena. One is sloppy. In real life, many people easily reject others because they are too sloppy, and therefore offend friends or lose the opportunity to meet new friends. Under normal circumstances, no one likes to ask for help unless forced to do so. Therefore, most people's requests are not unreasonable. Even if we are really powerless, at least we must show our care so that the troubled counterpart can feel even the slightest warmth when they are helpless and lost.
The second is anger. When others ask you for help, try your best to help, even if you can’t help, don’t get angry. Others are just asking, not forcing you to do anything, even if you are unwilling or powerless, at least not Hurt the dignity and feelings of the other person, and make others feel that you are a person without compassion. Rejecting others in an angry mood will hurt others as well as ourselves. We must resolutely abandon this approach and treat others with peace of mind.
The third is arrogance. An arrogant person tends to despise the people around him in a condescending posture. His superiority makes people find it difficult to get close. Of course, this kind of person has very few friends. No one likes to be underestimated, communicate in an unequal way, and an arrogant attitude makes you reject others thousands of miles away.
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Therefore, when someone asks you for help, you should not refuse others with an arrogant attitude and tone. Doing so is a manifestation of disrespect for others. Asking you for help does not mean that you are in an unequal position with you. You are not qualified to be arrogant, and there is no reason for others to endure your arrogance.
