Smoothing out the pebble

I am lucky enough to date and own a lovely person, she truly is my world and I will stand and fight the world to protect her, and this is very much known in our community. A very dear and close friend told us not too long ago, that our relationship made her believe in love again, a massive compliment from someone who's been a large part of the community for so long.

As time moved on, we went to more parties and met more people, everyone always complimenting us on our strong dynamic and just how great we are as a couple. We attended and worked at Sexpo, meeting vanillas and showing them around the possibilities to be found within BDSM, and again receiving all these wonderful compliments.

Then the bubble burst, the honeymoon phase ended and the real work started.

At the very beginning of our relationship, I think this was even before we started dating, I told her a story I heard as a kid, the story of two pebbles in a stream.

From time to time, the stream of life throws together two unsuspecting people, for better or worse, and I would like to believe life threw us together for the better. But you see, when two pebbles end up next to each other for the first time, they don't completely fit together, they have rough edges, bumps and forms that rub up against each other. The movement of the water will slowly rub these pebbles against each other, working those bumps and edges, chipping off small pieces. With every chip, the two pebbles move closer to each other, they start to fit, later snugly fitting together as if they where cast to fit like two pieces of a puzzle from the beginning.

We as a couple, both in our vanilla, and our D\s relationship hit a couple of bumps these last 2 weeks or so. Those bumps really hurt when chipping them away. Now I'm not saying we change who we are to fit in with the other person, but we compromise without compromising who we are. It's difficult, it's fucking difficult and a shit load of work, don't be fooled. We spent late nights talking, crying, hugging and having amazing make up sex, we spend quiet brunches talking about what is important to us, and why we're so damn stubborn when it comes to certain topics, sometimes the only way to end our latest discussion was to take out the flogger and do a good play (never play angry, but playing can sometimes help to calm the last bit of nerves for both parties). We worked and worked and worked to smooth those pebbles.

Today I am proud to say that we are smoother pebbles today than we were when we met, we fit even better and as a couple, we're stronger than ever.

Next time you look at that "perfect" couple, take a moment to appreciate the hard work that goes into being that couple.

Next time you have a fight with your P\partner, think back to my little story.

Beautiful, healthy and strong relationship takes work, sometimes it hurts, sometimes you'll be floating on cloud 9. But there is nothing worth more than working through the hard part, those big and little bumps and edges.

I'll leave you with these last words: When your lightbulb goes out, you fix it, you don't buy a new house.