14 Truths About How Men Think About Relationships to Help You Understand Men

( How to Understand Guys: The Secret Formula )

The first thing to grasp about guys is that they truly do originate from the same planet as women. Many misconceptions assert that men and women are significantly different than they actually are, despite the fact that scientific research has only found minor differences between the sexes. If you want to comprehend men more fully, you should think about the contrasts and parallels between men and women, while also remembering that every man is a unique individual with his own needs and aspirations.

Understanding the distinctions between men and women comes first.

1. Recognize that men are often more abrasive than women. According to research, men, for instance, are more inclined than women to choose positions where the salary depends on surpassing competitors. And you probably already know from personal experience that men are typically more engaged in sports (either participating in them or simply watching them) than women are. Many males engage in this behavior because they enjoy competition and derive gratification from possessing abilities that enable them to control others. If you are playing him in a game, don't be shocked if he starts losing and then becomes ruthless and a horrible player. Accept this behavior without attaching any significance to it and carry on.

Encourage him to participate in competitive hobbies. You'll see that a lot of the usual male pastimes, like gambling, hunting, watching or participating in sports, and extreme sports, are competitive in nature. Support your man in engaging in things that can give him this kind of joy in a somewhat safe way, because winning over competition can be essential for males.

1. Men are more visual, so keep that in mind.

Sight is one of the strongest human senses, and requires a lot of everyday brain activity to process all we see. But men are still more prone than women to reacting to visual signals, though. As a result, males could prefer to read directions on a map rather than hear them, or they might insist that they must physically see an issue in order to resolve it. Accept that they cannot change this inclination because it is a part of who they are.

Don't take it personally if he glances at other women. A man may be more prone to glancing (or even staring) at attractive people if he is more sensitive to visual stimuli. However, there's no need to get upset because a man doesn't necessarily desire to have a sexual relationship with a woman just because he sees her wearing a tight blouse. Usually harmless, these glances are more of a reflex than a warning indication that your relationship is doomed.

1. Keep in mind that men and women value different aspects of a conversation in different ways.

According to research, boys and girls form bonds around shared interests and activities in childhood, while tiny girls bond over secrets and troubles. You will be let down if you anticipate your boyfriend or husband to be even better than the woman you like having the best chats with. Men are less likely than women to form lasting connections through conversation and are more likely to switch topics. Men also don't make as much eye contact when speaking to someone as women do; instead, they tend to look more at their immediate surroundings.

Pick your battles instead of punishing him for this difference and whining that he never pays attention to you. Make it plain and forthright if you genuinely want to talk about anything significant with a man. If you matter to him, he will make the effort to genuinely listen to you very carefully. You might say, "It's vital to me that we talk about this topic, and it would mean a lot to me if you could listen closely."

Be prepared to receive an answer. Another aspect of how males approach conversations is that they frequently concentrate on finding solutions to issues. Tell a man at the outset of a conversation that you only want him to comfort you rather than offer advice. Keep in mind that he's not attempting to control you; rather, he cares about you and believes that helping others is what loving people do.

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Encourage your partner to communicate when they try. According to family and marriage therapist Allen Wagner, "If you discourage him by saying something like, 'Thank you so much for telling me that,' he'll feel good and be more willing to do it again." For example, if someone compliments you and you stop them because it's a second-level compliment and you wait until it's a tenth level, "you'll never get a tenth level," he explains.

1. Recognize that men do not always recognize emotions as quickly as women do.

Consider the dated cliché of a spouse who is unaware of the act that infuriated his wife. He might not be intentionally stupid if he truly has no understanding of what's making her angry or upset. Women are better at classifying and interpreting emotions because of their more developed limbic systems, a trait that was advantageous in ancient societies when women were primarily responsible for upholding social relationships. In contrast, men trail women in research on how gender categorizes and regulates human emotions.

Expecting him to understand what you're thinking is unrealistic. Tell a man you are angry with him in a way that is as cool, collected, and reasonable as you can. He can take action to fix the issue once he is aware of how you feel. Don't count on him to understand your signals if you don't let him know.

Leave him alone. You might discover that males tend to cope with these issues on their own because they aren't used to talking about them with a companion. If a man withdraws when you try to talk to him about his personal problems, take a step back and give him time to sort them out on his own. If they want to talk about it, the majority of guys will let you know.

1. Men find it more challenging to be "just friends" with women than women do with men.

According to studies, males who are in platonic relationships with women are more likely to be drawn to and believe they are sexually attracted to their female friends. Women often hold back while they are in a relationship, despite the fact that they also exhibit sexual desire for the male acquaintances they have. When their female acquaintances continue to exhibit signs of desire and have boyfriends, the men are less demoralized.
This does not, however, imply that all of your male pals have a crush on you.

1. Recognize that men and women may behave differently at work.

Men and women approach work differently, even if they may share an office or perform the same activities. Men tend to be more concerned with finishing a task, whereas women are more concerned with the journey there. Men struggle to listen while women tend to ask more questions. Both sexes, however, believe that the other sex is not considerate enough of their requirements at work.

Men and women typically respond differently to stress on the job. Men will withdraw and seek to deal with a failing project on their own, whereas women will publicly express their concerns about it.
Additionally, men and women seek approval in various ways. Men desire to be noticed, whilst women are happy when complimented in a crowd.
Then: Avoid stereotypical thinking.

1. Contrary to popular belief, not all men want to sleep with every woman.

Although you might be persuaded that in an ideal world your boyfriend, friend, or coworker would want to sleep with every woman, this "isn't" the reality. Men are picky when it comes to who they actually sleep with, even if they can be fairly selective when they look at the women around them.

What are you two doing together if you're sure your partner wants to sleep with every woman? If there's an issue in your relationship because you think that just because he's a man, he has to want to sleep with anyone, you need to reconsider your assumptions. It's one thing if he really wants to have sex with all women.
Yes, occasionally you might encounter a slimy individual. But men can boast about how many women they have slept with, too, so keep that in mind. That does not imply that they wish to act prematurely.

1. Don't assume that men detest watching movies and going out on "female" nights.

Contrary to what you might believe, your partner doesn't mind that you get to decide where you go and what you do at night. Even though he may complain and whine if you want him to watch "Love Actually" ten times in a row, your guy enjoys doing what you want because it makes you happy.
Keep in mind that your guy would simply refuse to do something if he didn't want to. The same is true for you.

1. Don't assume that men lack all emotions.

Consider Tony Soprano: a big, soft bear on the inside and a tough guy on the outside. Men can still be sensitive, wounded, and have their feelings understood, despite the fact that women may prefer to talk more and express their emotions more readily. Men may be less inclined to express their emotions, but that doesn't mean their feelings are any less intense than yours.

Men "aren't" primitives who are just preoccupied with meeting their basic needs—food, sex, and sleep. So have that in mind.

1. Do not assume that males consider sex "all the time."

Like everyone else, men think about their friends, families, hopes, dreams, and careers. Sure, men may think about sex more frequently than women, especially if they're teenagers, but that doesn't mean they only have one thing on their minds all the time. If a sexy woman in heels walks by, well, obviously, they'll probably be momentarily distracted, but that doesn't mean the inside of their heads looks like the porn section of the neighborhood video store.

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1. Don't assume that men are only concerned with appearances.

Both men and women are superficial when it comes to appearance. Contrary to popular belief, when a man is truly interested in a woman, he isn't just drawn to her physical attributes, with a gorgeous face receiving added appeal. Do not believe that working out, applying eyeliner, and donning tights are the only things you need to do to impress a man. You need to dazzle him with your charisma, intelligence, and conversational skills.

It's true that some men have an unhealthy obsession with their beauty. For some women, though, the same is true.

1. Don't assume that men are more inclined than women to be unfaithful.

Who can forget the Tiger Woods affair if you believe that males have a reputation for lying? However, despite the fact that males are more interested in making physical connections than women are, both sexes are capable of cheating. Don't assume that simply because your partner is a man, he will cheat on you. If he does, it's because he wants to connect with someone not involved in your relationship.

It doesn't mean that there aren't any actual scumbags out there, though. But slime can also be women.

1. Men like to commit, contrary to popular belief.

You might believe that the statement "I think you should meet my parents" causes every man you meet to want to flee out of fear of commitment. Men are actually just as devoted as women are. You are genuinely considering the 20% of men who are actually afraid of making commitments. Remember that many women are equally apprehensive about developing a serious relationship.

1. Don't think that powerful women can terrify guys.

Of course, if you are Michelle Obama or Oprah Winfrey, men can be scared by strong women. However, in general, men are more drawn to strong, independent women who aren't afraid to go after what they want. To win a guy over, avoid acting like a "lady," being foolish, or making silly faces. You must display your whole potential if you want a man to take you seriously.

Being confident entails being strong. And confidence appeals to everyone.
Finally, develop your understanding of men.

Find out what the masculine ego is all about. So, you should endeavor to comprehend the male ego if you wish to comprehend men more thoroughly.

Make room for your guy. Long-term relationship improvement can result from mastering this method.
Find out how males act in committed relationships. You can learn more about the process a man goes through by doing this.

Find out how to support your partner if he's depressed. This presents a difficulty in comprehending the guys.
Your relationship with your lover should be improved. You will understand guys better if you have a better notion of how to enhance your relationship with your boyfriend.

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Tips
Keep in mind that this article's material is based on generalizations. Therefore, not all of it might apply to the men you know.
Give your partner a hug to lift his spirits if he's feeling down. It will calm him down.