Why you should NOT date/marry your "best friend"

Since I haven't posted in awhile, I thought I'd ease back into it with a light topic: marriage. But in particular why you shouldn't want to marry your "best friend".

From pretty much every cheese-filled Rom-Com and romance novel, we've all heard that in order to have true happiness in life you need to marry your best friend. Well, not only do I find that completely insane, but also seriously unhealthy.

Throughout our lives we have different relationships with different people; parents, siblings, friends, best friends, partners, co-workers, etc. And with each of these different relationships, we treat and respect each person differently. You don't spend time with your siblings in the same way you do with your co-worker and you don't speak to your boyfriend/girlfriend in the same way you do to your parents (at least I hope you don't). Each relationship has its own set of expectations and boundaries.

Now I'm not saying these relationships can't overlap slightly; like having an element of friendship with your mother or a friend being caring or protective like a parent - that is normal. My issue lies when an individual is expected to take on two or more important relationship roles. For examples: when you expect your partner to also be your best friend - this leaves an unhealthy level of expectation and responsibility on that person. Expecting one human being to be your entire world and support system is setting your relationship up for failure. How is one individual expected to support you as both your partner and your best friend when both of these roles are equally as important? One of the roles is going to have to take a backseat leaving you without one vital relationship lacking in your life and leaving your so called partner/best friend feeling overwhelmed and underappreciated.

I have the same issue with people who say their parent is their best friend. Your parent is there to raise you, guide you, set boundaries and be a figure of authority in your life. Expecting them to be your best friend undermines their role as a parent.

The one that is the absolute worst for me, and the one I won't go into detail on, is when a girl refer to her boyfriend as "Daddy" (shudders).

Each of these roles are vital to our growth and support within our lives. Respect the relationship and the individual by having reasonable expectations and boundaries for the role they play in your life.