I think a relationship should be a partnership between two people. How people fill this in is entirely up to them. Reading about your friend makes me personally not want to like him because I think he sounds very selfish.
But on the other hand, he does act like himself before and after getting in a relationship. So it's hard to judge because he hasn't changed as a person at all. It was clear who he was from the get-go.
Not sure what happened with your toxic relationship but don't be in a relationship just to be in one. I waited 30 years before I met somebody that fits perfectly with me. I never looked for her and I never was worried about being single. It just happened one day. So, It will either happen or not. But don't settle for something less.
I agree. I don't have a lot of love for that friend anymore. I'm in no hurry to be in a new relationship either. The toxic stuff--I'm still wading through it. Today I feel sad and have the age-old cycle of thoughts in my mind that I could have said this or done that. The truth is, no matter what I said or did, they weren't hearing me. Communication wasn't happening.
What you are saying about not looking--I think when we are confident in ourselves we attract people who like confidence rather than people who see us as opportunity. That's what happened with my toxic ex-friend. I see that I have work to do.