Relationships: Do Some People's Childhoods Cause Them To Close Their Heart?

It could be said that while there are people who are in touch with how they feel, there are those who are not. As a result of this, there is going to be a big difference when it comes to how they experience life.

A Whole Human Being

When one is in touch with how they feel, it is likely to show that they are connected to their mind, heart and body. One is then not going to be stuck in their head, and this is going to make it a lot easier for them to have a fulfilling life.

One is going to have the ability to think, to feel and to experiences different sensations in their body. Therefore, no matter what environment they are in, they will be able to respond in the right way.

Part of Life

If this is how one has more or less always experienced life, there is going to be no reason for them to think about this. Being able to think clearly or to connect to how another person feels, for instance, will be the norm.

This is something that is going to benefit them when they are at work and it will have a positive effect on their relationships in general. For one thing, there is no denying how important it is to be able to empathise with another person.

Deeper Connections

One could find that there are a number of people in their life who they are really close to, and this is going to be a reflection of the kind of connection they have with themselves. As one has an open heart, it will allow them to connect with others who also have an open heart.

Through being this way, it is not just going be about what they can receive; it will also be about what they can give. This will stop them from being consumed by their own needs and ignoring the needs of others.

The Human Element

One way of looking at this would be to say that this part of them is what allows them to behave like a human being. As when someone can put themselves in another person's shoes and show compassion, they are less likely to cause harm.

Whereas when someone is unable to behave in this way, it is going to be a lot easier for them to take advantage of others. Other people can end up being seen as a means to an end.

Take and Take

If they do extend themselves, it will only be because they want something in return, and once they have what they want, they could end up disappearing. So if they were get in touch with the same person again, it will be for the same reason.

One of the reasons why other people will fall for this is that one is likely to find it easy to deceive others. Thus, when they want something, they will be able to turn on the charm, so to speak.

Surface Level Interactions

If they do have people in their life, it is unlikely that they will have a strong connection with them. These people are likely to be as disconnected from their own emotions as one is from their emotions.

Yet even though their relationships are not going to be very fulfilling, this is going to be what generally feels comfortable. Their main priority will be to fulfil their needs, and this could be followed closely by their need to spend time around people who will make them look good.

Extremely Shallow

But as one lives on the surface of themselves, it could be said that it is not much of a surprise for them to be this way. Through being out of touch with their own emotions, they are not going to have the need to experience deeper connections with others.

This is then similar to how there will be no reason for someone to eat something if they are not hungry. There could be moments though, when one does get in touch with how they feel.

Running Away

During these moments, they could do whatever they can to avoid how they feel; with this being a way for them to experience control. This could be a time when they will find someone to have sex with, or they could be drawn to alcohol or drugs, for instance.

Ultimately, one is going to go towards the things that they believe will allow them to avoid how they feel and avoid anything that might cause them to embrace how they feel. If they were to get in touch with how they feel, it could be too much for them to handle.

Up To the Surface

Also, if they were to get in touch with the pain that is in their heart, it would probably cause them to feel powerless. And what could cause them to get in touch with how they feel is if they were to start a relationship and this was to end shortly after.

This could be a time when they will experience loss, rejection, grief, rage and deep sense of being helpless. One is then going to be only too aware of why their heart has been closed for so long.

A Deeper Look

What this could show is that they were abused and/or neglected during their early years. This pain would have stayed in their body and, through disconnecting from how they feel, it would have been a way for them to protect themselves.

The past is then defining their present, and it will stay this way until they do something about the pain that is within them. This would have been a time when one did what they could to survive.

Awareness

If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they might need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by a therapist or a healer.

Prolific writer, author, and coach, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over one thousand four hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. His current projects include 'A Dialogue With The Heart' and 'Communication Made Easy'.