QUESTIONS TO ASK BEFORE YOU FIGHT YOUR SPOUSE

Couples do fight unnecessary fight, making marriage difficult for themselves. At times when you check when couples fight, why they fight, how they fight, you will be forced to think whether people fighting in marriage are children or adults.

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Before you fight your spouse again, before you blow up the roof and turn the house to a battle field you need to ask yourself the following important questions:

1. IS THERE ANY REWARD FOR THIS FIGHT?
   Wise people will never fight a battle without reward; David carefully asked what his rewards were if he killed Goliath, he never go to the battle field to confront the Giant putting his life on the line without asking what his reward is.

So you need to ask yourself this question, what is my reward if i fight my Wife or Husband?

What do i tend to gain if i fight the one i claimed to love?

Try to list the number of things you will gain if you fight your mate, if you don't have any; then stop the fight.

1. WHAT DO I TEND TO LOSE BY FIGHTING MY SPOUSE?
   Another question you need to ask yourself is what you tend to lose if you go ahead and fight your spouse. You have many things to lose, yes many of them which include the following: Your peace of mind, joy, peace at home, comradeship, unity at home, intimacy in marriage, good parenting, prayer life, focus etc.

Can you see that you have many things to lose and nothing to gain, then why fighting?

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1. IS THERE A BETTER WAY TO DO IT?
   You can actually get what you want without been negative. You can have what you desire in that marriage without fighting. Why can't you ask yourself, is there better way to get what i want? Yes there are better ways, way of communication, way of patience, way of negotiation, way of diplomacy, way of patience, way of maturity, yes there are better ways to it, stop that fight it pays nobody.

2. WILL GOD BE GLORIFIED IN THIS FIGHT?
   You also need to ask yourself whether fighting your spouse will glorify God, no, it won't, the only person that is happy when you fight is the devil, you gain nothing in it, your spouse has nothing to gain, your children are at a loss when you fight, so why fighting when God is not glorify in it and you have nothing to gain.

3. WILL THIS FIGHT ADD TO MY MARRIAGE?
   All you want is a better marriage that has been your dream and maybe the reason for fighting your spouse. But have you ask yourself whether fighting your spouse will add to your marriage or not, will it make your marriage better or not. Fighting your spouse will only make your marriage hot, not better, so why fighting?

4. WILL IT ENCOURAGE INTIMACY IN MY MARRIAGE
   Will fighting my spouse bring us closer or set us apart, the answer is obvious, fighting your spouse will create a gulf between you especially if you fight dirty. If intimacy is what you desire, then, fighting is not the right way to get it.

5. IF I WIN WHO WILL GIVE ME THE TROPHY?
   If i win when i fight my spouse, who will give me the medal, where will i get the trophy? is there any award or reward for winning? The answer is NO! Since fighting your spouse is without reward or award, then be wise, stop fighting.

6. WHY AM I EVEN FIGHTING?
   Is not surprising that most couples that fight do not even know why they are fighting? Many fight on very foolish things that children will not even fight about. They fight about tooth paste, water on the rug, toilet not been flush, toilet not been cover, spouse farting, who will sleep at the edge of the bed, handkerchief on the table, plates not washed, food too hot or too cold, dirty plates, discipline of Children, Tv too loud, light in the room, fan in the room etc.

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Most of these things are things we should handle without any stress if we can just rise up to be adult and not married boys and girls.