What Your Sleeping Position With a Partner Says About Your Relationship

When we sleep, our subconscious minds take over. Because of this, the body language we use with a partner while we sleep can be a remarkably precise way to gauge what’s going on in our relationships.
You're laying in bed with your significant other, and you just so happen to be spooning them. Have you ever wondered what this means? Actually, whether you're a male or female changes the meaning of the spooning position. When it comes to couple sleeping positions, this one’s classic.

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Although sleeping with your back to your partner and a space in between you might not seem too romantic, one study found it’s the most common of all couple sleeping positions, likely because it’s practical. Twenty-seven percent of the couples surveyed for the study identified this position as their primary one. Corrine Sweet, the relationship psychologist who carried out the study, says the position shows their couples are connected and secure. “This position shows both closeness and independence in the relationship,” she says. Sleeping apart for a different reason? New couples tend to have the most physical contact in bed, but once the relationship matures, the novelty of sharing a mattress wears off.

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The loose spoon is typically what a couples that are a fans of spooning eventually do once their relationship matures and each individual wants to revert to a position that produces the best quality sleep, said Paul Rosenblatt, author of Two in a Bed: The Social System of Couple Bed Sharing. Sharing a bed with your partner and having sex with your partner don't necessarily go hand in hand, and a new survey shows that some sleeping positions are more associated with having sex than others.

Because your subconscious mind controls the way you sleep with your partner, sleep body language can be an amazingly accurate way to assess what's going on in your relationship — even if you can't or don't articulate those things while you're awake, says Patti Wood, a body language expert with more than 30 years of experience and author of Success Signals, A Guide to Reading Body Language. Particularly if you're in a new relationship, having the conversation about sleeping positions or choosing not to engage in a position you find uncomfortable can be difficult. My best advice is don't be shy about letting your partner know what you do and don't find comfortable, and ask them the same questions. Being on the same page can lead to relationship happiness as well."