I don't know the people you are talking to, or what may be happening in their journey of either finding the narrow path or blindly walking the broad path. One thing I would encourage you on is understanding that there is zero submission to men who do not recognize/teach the Torah. In fact the more I read scripture, the submission to deacons, pastors, elders and bishops is only when you and a brother have an issue that needs a judge to rightly judge. They are not there to "police". These four groups were set up by Moses in the wilderness as judges over 10's, 50's, 100's and 1,000's. They are not rulers, which is what we have adopted... a completely wrong paradigm from the Catholic Nicolaitan church. Remember, you and your husband are going to blind and deaf men who think they can see and hear. Shalom.