Tess Pearson vs The Dress on "This Is Us" aka Sometimes Clothes Make Us Feel Weird

Posted a big essay thing on Reddit but I hope it can be appreciated here too. If Kitty bot finds this, it's also on Facebook and Instagram, in hindsight I should have posted here first.

Note before the cut: This is a discussion of a teenage character in This Is Us. She's openly gay and has a nonbinary partner. Not exactly spoilers now but there's a scene where she gets assigned a bridesmaids/flower girl dress and she's visibly uncomfortable. I discuss my personal experience with dysphoria in regards to clothing not being exactly binary.

Originally, this was meant to be in reply to the Tess hate thread but OP wasn't really interested in what I had to say, so I'm putting it in my own post. We don't have to agree with each other. But maybe this is better as its own post.

So yes, she was still wearing a dress at the end of the day, right? I can tell you that feeling dysphoric over an outfit isn't as binary as "skirt or trousers".

From personal experience, things like pinks, florals, ribbons, bows, sleeveless tops or spaghetti straps can feel weird an uncomfortable for some people, whether or not they identify femininely or nah.

There's a reason why some queer folk stick to biker jackets, flannel, denim, blacks, browns, not because it's a cliche in the butch community, some folks don't particularly feel "right" with more "feminine" clothing.

However, one's expression can fall on a spectrum, so maybe they're okay with a skirt if it's paired with something that is more neutral on top.

Personally, I stay away from pinks at all costs, even on a fitted men's blazer, I can't begin to explain WHY but it's just eh for me.

Tess has been a bit of a pain in the butt this season but I can't imagine being raised with so much awareness of the queer identity while being a hormonal teen. I personally only came out as queer and then years later, trans, as an adult.

She's kind of idealist in hoping everyone around her would immediately be sensitive and understanding towards the topics of pronouns and such.

Even though I am starting to adopt gender neutral pronouns for myself with my peers, I don't feel comfortable getting into a fight with my conservative ethnic parents about it, I get that they're so behind. My mum is doing better with knowing that she has trans kids but she's still working on it, in terms of understanding the whole picture.

I applaud This Is Us for attempting to bring up the topic of queerness but it's definitely frustrating when it's through an angry teen.

Does this mean you have to like Tess? Hah, of course not, you're entitled to your opinion.

I just found it interesting to see how a literal "baby gay" goes through life hoping that their mum just immediately understands what they need to say or do.

It took me years but if something feels wrong or off, try to talk it out, especially if your mum is Beth who actually tries to make it work.

Additional note, not necessarily on topic: An acquaintance of mine has a kid that's 17 going on 18 and she claims that apparently, a lot of 2000s babies are exceptionally "difficult" in general? I'm nearly 30 and I don't have a teenage kid but she says all her friends have issues with 2000s babies. So maybe that's the inspiration for Tess but don't @ me.