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RE: "The Hunters And Gatherers Issue" - An Open Letter To My Future Ex Affair
Chemistry? Yes. :) It's like when my kids are frustrated, they know to come get some Oxytocin from a 30 second hug.
Chemistry? Yes. :) It's like when my kids are frustrated, they know to come get some Oxytocin from a 30 second hug.
This.
Haha, love it!
Oxytocin I know well, in fact every chemical mentioned in this video I'm well versed in except the one relating directly to this post...and I may be showing a level of ignorance I shouldn't, but I have never heard of vasopressin until just now. I am torn on whether to thank you cheerfully -since I'm a huge fan of learning new things, in fact my grandmother told me the secret to preventing senility was to learn something new everyday, she never went a day without her crossword puzzles and she was sharp as a tack right up to the day she died- or with a bit of melancholy, because I am the one who would still hear santa's sleigh bell, (polar express reference) who loves the idea of magic and mystery. A conundrum.
I can't speak for others, and while I can't deny that the chemistry described for romantic love doesn't sound exactly like it was when I met my husband at eighteen, twenty years later all I can say is I just simply adore him. He's my best friend and confidante, desirable to me in all ways from the way his brain works to everything else. We know one another inside and out, but it's never been stagnant or boring, we can still talk for hours, and while we'll certainly be nostalgic when our children go off on their own, we're also excited about the possibilities and new adventures that will provide. Can vasopressin really explain all of that? I doubt it, there are too many factors interwoven, private jokes wouldn't disappear, and neither would all of the memories, or the way we still challenge each other, and quest with questions together....
sorry, this is becoming a post of its own! :)
Well, removing vasopressin sure impacted the prairie voles... so... who knows. Either way, a successful marriage involves effort and is awesome. I'm 13 years in and love it all around. I'm glad yours works well for you. :)
It did, but I do think the ability to think and reason, have foresight and hindsight, all of the things humans have that animals, (as far as we know,) do not, plays a role outside of instinct and chemistry :) Loving it all around after many years is always awesome to hear! :)
Have you seen conversations with Koko or some of the amazing things elephants, dolphins, ravens, and more can do? We may not be the only ones with the ability to think and reason with foresight and hindsight. We might just do it a lot better than any other currently. There's a video I saw recently about the complex problems ravens could figure out that blew my mind.
Actually, yes, I do believe that animals are capable of a lot more than is generally recognized.
But I've given the subject of 'feelings' a great deal of thought. I grew up in a strict christian household-by strict I mean faith in church doctrine, Jesus as the only way to Heaven, any other path leads to eternal hell etc. My parents are actually very loving people, it just happens to be what they truly believe through and through, and I was told this from the time I could think. So let's just say that I've not come across a level of brainwashing as unbelievably difficult to overcome than this.
But when I did force myself to face the many discrepancies, when it became apparent that I wasn't capable of the blind faith expected of me, I went through a period of mourning initially and then a long period where I was numb. Like every single chemical that produces feelings got shut off. I was in my later twenties and my children were about four and seven. But even though I was scarily void emotion wise, I still wanted my family to be well on an intellectual level, I logically knew how important it was for my kids to feel loved. I also knew that it was occurring because I had lost my center and my foundation and therefore I needed to find out what those things were. I had to rebuild myself from the bottom up, a task so initially overwhelming that I'm certain it's the reason I shut down.
My husband helped by taking over a lot of the things I would normally do, like reading at bedtime etc. And he listened when I wanted to talk, was silent when I didn't. And, long story short, I made it through the 'dark age', my children the none the wiser. (They actually do know about it now, they're teenagers and we discuss everything ;)
My point here is that as much as animals are capable of, I don't think they're capable of knowing that they've become emotionally or psychologically damaged and in knowing this then able to mostly function as before until they heal. To "Act as if" To "fake it till you make it" . lol.
I could be wrong though. I am not one to put definite's on things, if there's anything I know for sure it's that there is a whole hell of a lot I don't know :)
That sounds so beautiful, @dreemit and I'm incredibly happy for you!
I don't think chemistry can explain everything. Probably it's a mix of all these elments put together. Whatever it is: keep it up!
Big hugs!!!