Hide your kids, Hide your wife, The Octopocalypse Is Coming.

in #science7 years ago (edited)

The signs of the coming octopocalypse are everywhere. There has been a substantial and statistically significant increase in cephalopod populations all around the world. Cephalopod populations are booming.

Octopuses, an inspiration for monsters throughout history have three hearts, parrot-like beaks, venomous bites, and eight semi-autonomous arms that can taste the world. They squirt ink, contort through the tiniest of spaces, and melt into the world by changing both color and texture. On top of this octopuses have a highly developed brain and acute vision.

These fast-growing, adaptable creatures are perfectly equipped to exploit the gaps left by extreme climate changes and overfishing.

We've been annoying these slimy sea monsters by shutting them inside aquarium tanks, and grilling them alive with slices of lemon and poking them with sticks for thousands of years.

So who knows what these beasts of the depths have been planning for the future of humanity. In no time they will start snatching kids who wander a little too close to the water at night.

Here are some facts about them.

Bear in mind: This is just what we actually know about.


Octopuses are masters of disguise.

These masters of camouflage can quickly change the color and texture of their skin to match the background. They can also mimic other deadly sea creatures to scare off potential predators.


Octopuses have been known to build defensive structures

By collecting and stacking rocks octopuses have been documented to form walls to protect them when they go to sleep.


Octopuses have been seen jumping up on land to ambush unsuspecting prey.

That could be your baby.


Octopuses have been spotted making tools out of coconuts and shells.


Octopuses can open jars. From the inside.

Octopuses can open jars. From the outside.


Octopuses may be aliens, scientists claim.

According to research, octopus DNA contains highly rearranged code, utterly different from other animals on earth.


Octopuses are the World’s Greatest Escape Artists

Their boneless structure allows even large octopuses to crawl through an tiny opening.


Octopuses have also been known to kill sharks.

Aquarium employees put a shark and an octopus in the same tank. The octopus strangled the shark in cold blood. Obviously.


Octopuses have accidentally documented themselves stealing our video cameras to cover up evidence of their crimes.


The octopuses are coming for us.

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I was wondering if you will mention that they can kill sharks... I think thats the most creepy thing ever... - really interesting post! thanks for sharing!

Yeah :D I don't know why so many ppl have shark phobia when it's the octopuses they should be afraid of!