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in #self5 years ago

It’s ok to not always have to make a point/ to be right.

I noticed at times how I was tempted to kind of fight to get my point across/words heard by others, for someone to agree with me and get onside.

I ask myself - why is it so important to be heard? Why do I need acceptance from others that my words are valid ?

Ah.. and there we have it - why don’t I fully trust myself still, after over 10 years of walking process - what’s wrong with me ?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief within and as myself that there is something wrong with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief within and as me that i am not to be trusted

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief within and as me that my words are not acceptable and that within this not valid unless someone agrees with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief within and as me that I need others on side.

I see/realise and understand how I am creating a version of myself that is not the best version of me, a version that is wanting in some way, in separation of myself as life, through doubting my words as valid and within this leading to a lack of self trust.

I commit myself to stop in the exact moment that this comes up within me and to remind myself to be fully aware of my communication in these moments. I commit myself to breath and slow down and firstly check within myself to see if I am reacting or fearful in someone, and of this is the case I forgive it and let it go
before I communicate. If for example my words are clear within me ( in that they are here with no emotions or feelings attached ) I commit myself to speak and to not then revisit the words and judge them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my words and to hold back on what I need or want to say out of fear of ridicule or judgement from others

I forgive myself that I haven’t seen/realised and understood- how another’s words of judgement are here for me to look and stop as a reflection of self, to forgive and let go and allow my words to flow as an expression of myself.