An Introverts Journey to The Best Version of Himself #2
It can be difficult for an Introvert to speak up and interact with others. It becomes even more complicated when you have employees under you in a company. Most of the times, I just chose to do everything myself, just because I didn't want to have a conflict with someone or seem to be "bossing" them around.
On my ongoing journey of learning and improving myself I came to discover a very good book that I highly recommend. It's by Dale Carnegie and it's the How to Win Friends and Influence People.
How to Win Friends and Influence People
This book has many great tips and for each tip there is a large variety of historic examples to back it up. I will be sharing some of the tips that I've learned and have been using in my day to day life and hope that others will find the same benefits as I did. If you think this book will be valuable to you then don't hesitate to buy it. Investing 10-15 dollars or euros in a book really is worth it.
Fundamental Techniques in Handling People Tip #1
#1 - Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. It can wound the person's pride and arouse resentment.
Experiment's with animals have shown that an animal rewarded for good behavior will learn much faster and retain what it learns more effectively than an animal punished for bad behavior. Similar studies have shown that the same applies to humans.
By criticizing, we do not make lasting changes and often incur resentment.
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most fools do.
But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.
I've read dozens of self help books, and "How to Win Friends and Influence People" is in a league of its own. It is to self-help what "The Intelligent Investor" is to investing.
The only other self-help book I would put even close to it is, "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck" by Mark Manson. Its title sounds like it doesn't take itself seriously, but it's packed full of gems like this one:
“Everything worthwhile in life is won through surmounting the associated negative experience. Any attempt to escape the negative, to avoid it or quash it or silence it, only backfires. The avoidance of suffering is a form of suffering. The avoidance of struggle is a struggle. The denial of failure is a failure. Hiding what is shameful is itself a form of shame.
Pain is an inextricable thread in the fabric of life, and to tear it out is not only impossible, but destructive: attempting to tear it out unravels everything else with it. To try to avoid pain is to give too many fucks about pain. In contrast, if you’re able to not give a fuck about the pain, you become unstoppable." ~~~~ Mark Manson”
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