Sex, in search of lost understanding
The data clearly state this: sexual dissatisfaction is still too widespread. Receiving sexological help from an expert is a way to rediscover the desire but also to make more solid the bases on which the couple is based. The data clearly state this: sexual dissatisfaction is still too widespread. Receiving sexological help from an expert is a way to rediscover the desire but also to make more solid the bases on which the couple is based
In a survey carried out by the Centro Medico Santagostino, a clear picture emerges of how much the Italian population (in this case the survey was done on a sample of 285 subjects in Milan) is quite dissatisfied with their sexual life, a fact that is also confirmed in the clinic and in the therapeutic work that I do every day with couples and singles. Outside we talk a lot about sex but under the sheets, the situation is quite critical...
These data are not as worrying for percentages as for what happens in couples once the relationship has become established, be it cohabitation or marriage. What happens is that sexuality becomes a part of dual communication that takes for granted, losing the passion and vivacity that initially characterizes it.
Even if the affection and the constructive verbal communication persist, sexuality loses strokes not only in terms of quantity but also of quality replacing the erotic game in habit of satisfaction that is increasingly experienced as "obliged": in this way pulsions are repressed. and healthy desires for the couple and for the individual, who are increasingly hidden behind excuses for work, commitments, children, time and space not suitable for serenely living the sexual sphere.
The intimate removal of the couple is one of the first alarm bells that should be taken into consideration even when the couple does not have any (apparent) crisis and the ability to get back into the game and questioning is often very weak.
One of the two partners begins to have the distinct sensation that something does not work and the resort to a sexological therapy takes place when the stalemate has crystallized for a long time and even in cases where there are no existing organic pathologies. begins to substantially warn of the need for change or improvement in terms of the recovery of former sexual desires and needs.
Unfortunately, what is often missing in the couple is just the verbal communication on sexual aspects, on the fears and dissatisfaction that ultimately push the most critical and conscious partner to question themselves in front of the problem by involving (not with little fear!) also the other.
Even the concepts of erotic gambling and transgression are often misunderstood and experienced with a certain mental distance: erotic play is often understood as a sexual superficiality and transgression as betrayal (which in the survey has a significant percentage!)
In our country, there is still so much reluctance to be helped by an expert when there are psychological problems or simple difficulties in separating periods of crisis, let alone when these differences concern the sexual sphere. The major block emerges not so much in the affective sphere as in the intimate sphere with loss of interest and attraction for the other, loss of desire, difficulty in having satisfactory or fulfilling relationships for both, resistance to experimenting or implementing erotic fantasies, difficulties to rediscover the "playful" part of the sexual relationship which represents the most immediate way to restart the couple.
Feelings like anger, rancor, initial embarrassment and frustration, feelings of guilt and anxiety are easily overcome thanks to the spontaneity and professionalism in communication by the therapist who puts at ease the couple or the single in exposing the problem and in following the therapy same.
The healthy transgressions , erotic games with or without the use of sex toys and all that can be experienced in fulfilling way they reduce inhibitions and increase the sense of completeness of a couple who feels reborn help download tensions and communicate on several levels, modifying and improving a stable relationship without looking elsewhere for the source of one's pleasure. Emotional intimacy and sexual compliance can be part of the same universe and must not be mutually exclusive, facing the psychosexual impasse often facilitated by daily routine, pleasantly searching for time and place to be able to satisfy their long-dormant desires without taboos.