Girls taking the lead during sex (thoughts?)

So a while ago I wrote this story through @stellabelle's secret writer program: https://steemit.com/secret-writer/@stellabelle/secret-writer-i-think-i-was-raped-by-a-girl

It felt really awesome to get that off my chest, and to hear what people think about it.

I know some people were saying that it didn't seem like a big deal to them and that it definitely wasn't a rape. I agree it probably wasn't a rape, but there was a little that I left out, I guess out of embarrassment and probably for the sake of not turning it into an erotica story, lol.

But anyways she was kind of "aggressive" during the sex. Once or twice she squeezed my balls. She did it playfully, but like it was clear she wanted to be the more dominant role while we were doing it, and she was always kind of controlling what we did. So I guess that contributed to the way I felt about it. And sorry for not being clear about those details, but like I said it didn't seem that important and was pretty personal and kind of weird lol.

And there was one more thing, I ended up having sex with one of her best friends a few months later. I was drunk and totally wanted it that time lol, so I didn't have any problems with it, but it was kind of the same thing where she was initiating it, and it got me thinking that maybe she just wanted to have sex with me cause Jess did it. I dunno.

So those things contributed to me feeling weird about the whole thing.

I want to bring it up now cause of something going on with my girlfriend. What's going on with my girl is NOT a problem lol, I actually like it. And that's why I want to bring it up. Basically, we have that same sort of dynamic where she's more dominant during sex.

We talk openly about it. At first it just kind of happened, but then we started admitting to it and talking about it that way. I'm really comfortable with it, and don't get me wrong it's nothing kinky with like bondage and sex toys (not that there would be anything wrong with that lol, just sayin'). It's just we kind of do stuff at her pace and she's in the lead.

We've googled a little and found what's called "female led relationship", but that seems more about the girl being in emotional control, like making the guy do the chores and stuff like that lol. Our relationship is totally not like that and she is super sweet. Just.. she likes it that way sexually. And maybe I prefer it too?

I guess one thing I'm wondering about is if my past experience could have contributed to making me feel this way?

I consider myself a feminist so it's cool with me if my girl wants that role, and I actually feel kind of proud about it and have no complaints. I don't feel any loss of pride of "macho" points or anything like that.

But like I said in my secret story I've never talked to anyone about what happened with Jess. And I guess I just want to check myself and am wondering if what happened before could cause me to feel this way now?Or if I should even care if it did?

Is it common at all for girls to lead? Obv it's not something that would really get talked about much if it happens. I've mentioned some sexual stuff to a couple of my guy friends and they like it but it almost comes off as a joke, like they def don't get the extent of it, that it's a common theme for her to be like that.

I have a lot on my mind and could talk a bunch about this! lol. I would feel a little weird going into specific details about our sex life... but probably could if people are really curious, or if it would help understand the situation.

It felt good to write this out and I'd love to hear what you think if you have any thoughts or suggestions or similar experiences. Thanks, Steemit.

---

Image sources

1. unsplash creative common, and brilliantly used by @stellabelle in my secret writer post...it really captures the attitude I sensed from her

2. source user rain42 at deviantart.com

3. source deviantart.net