What is give and take? In social media there is a word for it. Reciprocation. It is an adjective that Merriam-Webster define as “a mutual exchange, or a return in kind or of like value”. People who really ‘get’ social media understand this. One of the greatest things I’ve read about it lately is from Adam Grant, and he wasn’t talking about social media, he was talking about business and success.

Mr. Grant is an associate professor at the Wharton School (University of Pennsylvania). His research focuses on work motivation, job design, and cooperative and helping behaviors. He has been named one of the best business school professors under the age of 40. His award-winning articles have been published in leading management and psychology publications. He has worked as trainer and consultant for a range of prestigious clients, such as Google, Yahoo! and Time-Warner Cable. He also wrote a book last year called ‘Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success‘, which focuses on how behavior effects success.

Here’s his line of reasoning. He suspects that extroverts might spend too much time trying to be the center of attention—babbling about themselves and their own ideas—and too little time listening to customers. If you’ve ever used social media does that ring a bell? He speculates further that excessive confidence might alert customers to the possibility that they are being manipulated—making them defensive and wary, say ‘hello’ to Facebook apps. By contrast, “ambiverts”—those in the middle on the extraversion-introversion trait—could be more flexible and variable in the way they engage customers, achieving a better balance between talking and listening, selling and serving. This is something I think we should all shoot for on all of our social platforms.

Grant collected data from more than 300 employees of call centers around the country, predominantly men. They all completed a standard personality inventory. Then he tracked their sales performance over three months. Results showed the highest performing employees scored at the exact midpoint for extraversion. In other words, they were ambiverts, not classic extroverts. Ambiverts brought in more revenue than introverts, but also more than extroverts.

Grant believes that the “dark side of extraversion” dictate career choice, hiring, and training. A measure of assertiveness and excitement seems to enhance performance, but it appears there can be too much of good thing. This means quieter, less outgoing people may be missing out on productive careers in sales—and employers may be overlooking potential star performers. Even when mild-mannered personalities do end up in sales, they are often “retrained’ to be more assertive and animated. Ironically, the opposite course may make more sense. Companies might well benefit from training their blustery, back slapping salespeople to emulate their reserved, soft-spoken colleagues.

How does this behavior relate to social media? As I was reading the article, that is exactly what I thought. I wasn’t thinking about sales or training. Each behavior and statistic he brought up, made me think directly of social media platforms and practices. How many companies do we see fail on a daily basis in social media be being too ‘in your face’? I won’t name names, but I think we could all come up with a list and it might have tons of different names on it.

Social Media, like a business, evolves daily. It can be hard to keep up with the various tools and methods, but the basic fundamentals of why we use it never change. Communication, engagement, collaboration, shared interests, and a need to be connected are what drives all of our favorite sites.

Broadcasting on your favorite platform will never garner you meaningful likes, fans, or followers. Therefore, none of them will become customers. Take a look at the way your brands interact on social media, and see if you have that problem. If you do, it’s easy to fix. The next someone retweets your post, thank them. Then in the coming days, find one of their tweets that relates to your brand and retweet it. It’s that simple.

A like for a like, a share for a share, a comment for a comment. Introduce your friends that don’t know each other and don’t expect anything in return. Interact with brands and people who relate to your business. Monitor your accounts daily, follow these simple steps, and watch your influence grow. Thanks also to Adam Grant for reminding me of these powerful tenants.