Dear Spammer, here are some tipssteemCreated with Sketch.

in #spam7 years ago

Sometimes the finds in my spam box make for decent entertainment.

Dear Spammer, if you want to have any real chance of scamming someone, consider these tips:

  1. Don't use ALL CAPS.
  2. When sending to an English-speaking person, hire a copywriter that knows English well.
  3. Use the correct ZIP Code for the address shown.
  4. If you claim the rich diplomat has also been emailing me, actually send some fake emails from another account posing to be that person.
  5. Remember to include the actual address and/or instructions on where to send my money.
  6. Don't send the email using a Japan email address if Japan is not mentioned anywhere in the scenario.

P.S. What is "ICE Welcome Ceremony"?

Email below:

SUBJECT: CUSTOMS SERVICES AUTHORITY UNITED STATES OF AMERICA HARRISBURG INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT

CUSTOMS SERVICES AUTHORITY UNITED STATES OF AMERICA HARRISBURG INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT (MDT) PENNSYLVANIA UNITED STATES DIRECTOR OFFICE IN CHARGE. JAMES B WOLFE 778 AIRPORT RD. HARRISBURG,PA,5585US

HELLO. BENEFICIARY

THIS IS TO INFORM YOU ABOUT YOUR PACKAGE HERE THAT WAS CONFISCATED BY THIS US CUSTOM OFFICE IN HARRISBURG INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT (MDT) PENNSYLVANIA UNITED STATES

YOUR PACKAGE IS HERE FOR LONGTIME NOW DUE TO YOUR DELAY AFTER THE DIPLOMAT AGENT ARRIVE FROM AFRICAN WITH THE CONSIGNMENT BOX WORTH'S OF $15.5MILLION USD AND WE ARE TO GIVE YOU 12 HOURS FOR YOU TO GET ALL YOUR CLEARANCE PAPER WORKS OUT, WITH THE AMOUNT OF $180.00 DOLLARS ONLY, WE NEED IT AT THE OFFICE BEFORE THIS HOURS OR THE CONSIGNMENT BOX WILL BE SEIZED AGAIN FOR THE FINAL DIVERSION BY GOVERNMENT OF USA HERE AND YOU WILL LOSE THE CONSIGNMENT BOX,

BESIDES NO CONSIGNMENT BOX LEAVES THE INTERNATIONAL AIR PORT WITH OUT OUR NEEDED CUSTOMS CLEARANCE CERTIFICATE WHICH COST ONLY $180.00 BECAUSE SOMETIME AGO NOW THE DIPLOMAT HAVE BEEN EMAILING YOU TO SEND US OUR CUSTOMS CLEARANCE CERTIFICATE FEES BUT YOU KEEP ON DELAYING THEN WE ADVICE AGAIN IF YOU MISS THIS WONDERFUL OPPORTUNITY THAT MEANS IT WILL BE VERY HARD FOR YOU TO GET THIS CONSIGNMENT AGAIN.

ONCE AGAIN WE NEED YOUR ANXIOUS MAIL DIRECT TO THIS US CUSTOM OFFICE BEFORE THIS HOURS FOR YOUR CONSIGNMENT TO LEAVE THIS AIR PORT TO YOUR LOCATION.THIS IS THE ONLY MONEY YOU WILL PAY NOTHING MORE ! NOTHING LESS!

YOUR CAN DIRECT THE IMMUNITY STAMP TAG CERTIFICATE FEES TO BENIN REPUBLIC CUSTOM HEAD OFFICE AS THE ORIGIN OF YOUR CONSIGNMENT BOX AND THEY WILL GET IT
OBTAIN TO ENABLE THE U.S CUSTOM RELEASE THIS MAN DIPLOMAT AGENT TO YOUR DESTINATION. AND THEY ARE ENTITLED TO RECEIVE ANY PAYMENT TO FOREIGN COUNTRIES AND ALSO NOTED THAT THE REQUIRE PAYMENT OF $180.00 SHALL SENT TO USA HERE FOR SECURITY REASON SO THAT WE CAN FORWARD TO THE BENIN REPUBLIC CUSTOM SERVICE AS THE ORIGINATOR OF YOUR PACKAGE.

RECEIVER NAME...VIDA AMATA
COUNTRY.....BENIN REPUBLIC
CITY;.......COTONOU
TEST QUESTION.....GOD
ANSWER.....BLESS
AMOUNT:$180.00
MTCN No#.....
SENDER.......
ADDRESS;.......
TELL NO:......

YOUR OUR CONSIGNMENT BOX IS HERE FOR LONGTIME NOW DUE TO YOUR DELAY AFTER THE DIPLOMAT AGENT ARRIVE FROM AFRICAN WITH THE CONSIGNMENT BOX AND WE ARE TO GIVE YOU 1-2 BUSINESS DAYS? WE NEED IT AT THE OFFICE WITHIN 1 BUSINESS DAYS

ICE Welcome Ceremony
THANK AND GOD BLESS.
BEST REGARDS

JAMES B WOLFE
CUSTOMS SERVICES USA AUTHORITY COUNTRY