A Special Needs Christmas - Can Anyone Relate?

Hello everyone :) so I tend to find this time of year a little bitter sweet, I have 2 high care special needs little men and a 14 yr old daughter - so our house is similar to that of a WWE smack down central arena.

Not only is there fighting but I find it extremely difficult to get presents for my children, my 7 yr old autistic/intellectually impaired son only loves woody (toy story) and Thomas the tank engine - and he already has 3 of each of them, so my choices are limited.

My 6 yr old medically complicated and complex son has an obsession with transformers, to be quite honest if I have to hear one more thing about them I may hunt down Shia Labeouf and transform him lol.

To me Christmas is about family, sharing love and being together, as much as we all love each other in our house - my children are all different (needs & personality) and at this time of year it tends to bring out the opposite of what it was meant to.

I see most people I know putting up beautiful family photos of their Christmas holidays and gatherings, and I wont lie I yearn for these things for my family - but my middle son Mr L hates being in public, hates noise and to be brutally honest he hates most people and as an autistic boy he definitely prefers to be alone.

As for Mr J as well as being medically complicated and complex, having ongoing issues with almost everything - he is very social, but socially awkward having ADHD, ODD and possible Asperger's he is a handful.

My 14 yr old daughter is 14, she hates everything and everyone, unless you come bearing gifts such as makeup or food! Shes a good kid but shes testing the waters of rebellion!

I find that every year I learn something about myself, I learn that I can lose hair at an alarming rate, I learn that the gym doubles as an anger management session and for health, I have learned that you can never underestimate the value of a sprinkler! (As this is probably the only thing that pleases everyone, including me lol).

Then there's money, money is something that has always been extremely tight and that does make things even more difficult at times.

Often it's the simplest things that I have found the hardest to accept, in this life of being a special needs mum - looking at Christmas lights, making decorations, seeing Santa, baking, Christmas movies and watching fireworks, these are a few things that are just impossible for my 2 boys to participate in.

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It still breaks my heart that we cant do these things as a family, I have to get someone to look after the boys if I want to do these activities with my daughter - but shes now at an age where she couldn't care and doesn't get the same joy I do out of Christmas, my boys don't enjoy nor do they like these festivities.

Christmas day is much the same my middle son only has patience for unwrapping one present, my youngest due to ADHD is over stimulated and my daughter is pretty good, but it got my thinking is it really heartbreaking?

Or do they have the advantage at looking at not just Christmas, but the world through black and white eyes?

Do they see just see it for what it really is?

Because lets be honest they don't know what they are missing, really its just me - because of my childhood and what i perceived as a child? How do i know if they are content or happy?

Mr L cant tell me anything being non verbal, as a mother i think we just want to know our kids are happy, healthy and safe - I know they are safe with me, but my boys aren't healthy most of the time, they aren't happy and neither is my neurotic 14 yr old.

Well Santa my wish this year is that I want all 3 of my children, to be happy healthy and safe 💓

I truly hope everyone here on steemit has a beautiful and merry Christmas, surrounded by family friends and loved ones xx.

I cant wait to see you all in 2018!