Journey Towards The Unknown

I'm sorry, I had to digress a littLe from my proposed blog. I just want to put this here, maybe I will feel better.
I called you 8:00AM this morning to ask you, because we could not talk much all through yesterday. I wanted to tell you how much I love you only to be asked why I didn't pick your calls the previous day. Truly, I had an extremely busy day yesterday, I was so stressed out that I forgot to disable silence mode on my phones. I tried explaining how I've never done this to you before, how I called you back around 11pm, how you never picked up. Then I remembered you told me you were a bit indisposed, I remembered you said you'd be sleeping early. I realized I didn't even ask about your health in the first place. I was wrong and tried to apologise. But you never wanted an apology for my attitude yesterday, instead, all you wanted to know was the reason for the recent change in my attitude for some months now. You wanted to know why I seem to forget almost everything about us. You wanted an explanation for the silent pains I've caused you.
Now i know it's broken

Then it dawned on me, the calls have not been like before. The calls that always last four almost an hour hardly last for five minutes. The laughs and chatters are gone, the reluctant good nights are gone, the text messages have disappeared, the chats are nowhere to be found. I think everything is fading. What could be the cause? Could it be me?

For six years, I've loved and adored you, I've cherished every moment you. Even though distance keeps us apart, I've never doubted your love for me. For all these years, it has been a smooth ride between us, we've never experienced times like this, we never thought we would. Maybe I've been thinking too much about the future, maybe I forgot to live the present with you. Maybe I got too carried away by the setbacks in life, maybe I'm lost, maybe the love is dying.

I don't know how you feel right now, you told me you've seen this coming a long time ago, and you've been feeling disconnected for a while. You don't know where it all went wrong. How do we make amends? How do we start all over again? This is truly a journey towards the unknown. I'm lost and i can't find me alone.

Let me just keep this here, maybe one day, IF things get better between us, then I will show this to you.