Midlife crisis
I'm new on here, this Steemit platform. I joined not just for the entitlements but, also the idea of expressing one's self and sharing ideas. It's like a low-key publishing blogosphere just like twitter and some other social networking sites.
That aside, delving to the crux of the context, I don't mind relating my challenges thinking what others might think. It's a free world although in most decisions and actions, we're chained either mentally by doubt or by rule.
After I finished from secondary school I was full of aspirations and positive energy unaware that life has a way of curbing your dreams (alternate reality) to a realistic perception. I didn't get admitted straight up into the university so I had to spend a couple years in my second choice tertiary institution - a polytechnic as I didn't make the big grade.
Two years gunning for a degree in national diploma was the best I could make do with, with the time I had. It was a very pleasant experience where I got to meet people - different kinds of people that brought a different plot in the play of life. I am the truant type so I barely scaled through the whole process with a load of lessons in my bag. In my final year, I took another test to get into a university proper and I made it to the delight of my folks.
Originally, I wanted to read a course, Aeronautic Engineering but, I learnt it wasn't offered by any institution in my country. My second choice discipline would be Pharmacy as I had a thing for helping people therapeutically. With advice from my dad, I filled in Medicine & Surgery but somehow landed in Medical laboratory science similar to the one I read in Polytechnic, science lab tech.
I'm supposedly in my fourth year now and I have to say the going was never easy. I've got a whole lot of unresolved issues pending as also the weight of expectations. Problems which wouldn't have been if I had been serious and focused from the onset. But then, I'm me - a stupid cliche that lingered in my mouth whenever I fret situations. The crippling fact of it all is not knowing what you're doing nor where you stand in anything. Not like I'm not talented or intelligent. A strong will, say drive was always lacking. At times, I blame it on my upbringing but maturity beckons I take full responsibility at some stage.
I have a lot of course-subjects I failed in that need reseating which I still am yet to re-write. I have emotional stress, social adjustment problems, petty complaints, as well as health issues. My time up till some moments was misused. Right now, I don't know how many extra years I'll be dealt here in school due to carryovers which my parents know nothing about. Tongue-waggers on one hand have a lot to chew on obviously. To bottle it up, I'm BROKE. I mean, I'm financially crippled, unstable and misappropriating funds. I have a girl or two to worry about also not sure if they're worried about me as I'm an introvert fulltime.
Nonetheless, I don't believe there's a problem that is insurmountable. I'm a believer and I believe that God won't give me a challenge He knew I couldn't overcome. Right now, I may be confused, lacklustre and uncertain. I know everything will be okay. For me to contain the haywire in my head and write this is proof I'm still sane and a work in progress. I cling on to hope knowing determination, hardworking and uprightness are anchors to any plot twist in my life.