Steem Is Not A Dating App And Delegating Power Is Not About Love – Abusive Behavior On The Blockchain

Originally, my idea was to simply forget about it and move on but then I talked to someone who did the same shit that happened to me to another woman. So obviously, it's about time to teach some of you guys some etiquette concerning delegations and whatnot. So, let's do this.

Don't Fall In Love With Us

Reality check, everybody. When you "fall in love" with someone you met online and have never seen in the physical realm: This is not falling in love, it's called projection. I know, capitalism taught you to get everything done quick and dirty but that's just not how it goes. You cannot fall in love online. It's the most superficial thing to do. When you meet the one you fall in love with, this happens on a chemical level. You meet them, you smell them, your brain does the maths and pours some of those lovely hormones that everybody wants to be on every day. If you "fall in love" with what somebody represents online, this is a projection of something you have to deal with. This fling tells you that there's something hidden inside yourself that wants to be processed. Your heart doesn't say:

"BADA BOOM BADA BOOM, GRAB THIS GURL!"

Listen more carefully it says:
Aaahhhh! I am triggered. Something about this woman's appearance provokes me.
If you really want to fall in love you have to wait for it … It'll occur without a warning when you put yourself out there. You can't order it online.

Money Represents Power, Honey, Not Love!

"It's a gift! You give the woman you love a present …"
(the guy who did the same)

Wrong, and again: wrong.
Check your motives before you delegate. A delegation is support for someone whose content you deem valuable.
It should never depend on your emotions, first of all. If that's the case, you're not being helpful for the blockchain. You simply cause friction because of your emotional instability. Giving someone money puts you into power. In this case, you are LITERALLY handing out steem POWER. Get it? Is this the way you would like to start your romantic relationship? By putting yourself above me and invest in my work?
Ok, here's where it gets tricky. Not everyone takes steem (blogging for crypto) as work, I do. It's the job I always wanted, it is my life investment. Lifeblood, money, heart and passion, it is everything I care about at the moment. But even if it wasn't, STEEM IS NOT A DATING APP. Take us seriously. Take yourself seriously.

There's another aspect to it that I don't want to go into detail about, which is gender. Le's just say: After way too many years of men distributing money and power among themselves and buying women with it … draw your own conclusion

Another question is: Do you really "give the woman you love a present"?
Is it her birthday? Is it really a gift? As in, you thought it through, it's what she always wanted, it's exactly what she needs? Or is it just money, the easiest way of showing off power? Do you give it to her to please her? Or do you want her to notice you?

From Love To Hate in 3, 2, 1 …

The guy who did this to me was pretty overwhelming. He tested my patience from the beginning because his projections were obvious from the start. My psychological hygiene alert went off many times we chatted. It was one of our earliest chats when he all the sudden wrote about feelings of "infatuation". My reaction to this was stupid. Next time this happens, I will just turn around and leave. Not my problem to take care of a stranger's obvious projection. I didn't turn away. I humbly said I wasn't looking for something like that and thank you for honestly expressing your emotions with me. Which is a paradox. Because I should have expressed mine.

Something like: "You don't know me, dude! You're projecting. You don't know ANYTHING about me, we have never met, you don't know what makes me thrive, you don't know about my flaws, you've got no idea who you SAID you fell in love with. Other than that: This is you repeating your psychological trauma of being rejected by affronting people." I was being too nice to him which caused the next projection.

He kept annoying me by telling me I would be suppressing anger until he yelled at me. Which was the first time I said it: "So, you're projecting your suppressed anger on me." It was a voice chat on discord. I ended it quickly and avoided him. First, he "falls in love" with a stranger, then he yells at a stranger. I had enough.

At the same time, he was delegating to me. It felt like a burden and I often felt like telling him to back off but since I am trying to live in peace and unity I kept loose contact. We upvoted each other and when he commented I would answer … But I was more than done with him. I couldn't believe his abusive ways. Whenever we had talked, he would be busy diagnosing me. Not only me. That's kind of what he does all the time. He is so scared of people and being rejected that he keeps categorizing all of us. Most of all, he will tell you how YOU feel. But he will never dare to look into a mirror and see how this is all happening inside of him. I am interchangeable in his game of repeating a cycle of rejection. What he did was gaslighting me. And I asked some questions concerning narcissism and such and whether he'd be aware of things like gaslighting. He absolutely was, but for whatever reason didn't apply this knowledge to our conversations. So, I talked less and less with him.

He sometimes sent some links about current steem dramas, I kept telling him that I am not interested in polarity content, that I don't mind other people's dramas while he was out there earning drama tokens. I can't count how often I tried giving him a hint about his interest in other people's emotions. Then he sent an email. An actual email to my email account. Maybe he finally understood that this is kind of official, that he made me his 'business partner' by delegating power to me. The mail said nothing but

"I just wanted to inform you that I am taking back my delegation the 5th of may"

Around the same time he left a very nice comment on the blockchain concerning my exclusive content. So, he wanted me to talk to him and he expressed different things on different outlets and this is what you call manipulative behavior. I had never felt the strong connection he seemingly had but that was enough. I showed him the door. It was my birthday when I wrote back that he should leave me the hell alone and take back his investment whenever he wants to. That I won't deal with his manipulative tactics. That was it. All hell broke loose.

Things A Stalker Says

He wrote 4 emails with the subject "mayb my last word :)" the following 6 days. 2,732 words. Insulting, abusive, gaslighting.

• "I guess it's your birthday breakout."
• "There is the possibility that what you have written is a cry for help. To that end, let's be clear that I haven't pushed you away. There may also be some Dissociative Disorder going on and different 'voices'."
• "My advice (if you wanna take it) is to drop the paranoia - you have probably given yourself a fucking headache spinning out theories of how twisted and manipulative I am lol........whatever I may be or not, you are just fucking with your own head"
• "Hmmmm indeed May, is it not a mirror that you are looking into when you say that?"
• "if this is indeed a cry for help, I am available unconditionally, in the manner that I made myself available on at least one occasion when you talked about stuff - literally, in spite of all the hoo-ha, you can DM me and we can speak."
• "And 'gurl', when are u gona learn to 'fuck' the blame and take responsibility for ur own feelings? How can u travel the world with all that baggage? Huh????"
• "You may have the power (that many have) of suppression - ignoring feelings.....but this goes nowhere, as you know!"
• "There is connection May, that was felt deeply and intensely and it's still there."
• "I wish you Rest for the troubled mind, I wish you Peace for the troubled heart and I wish you Love for yourself!"
• "btw, wonder if some of this comes from interactions from a different time and life.....?? Anyway, don't lose balance May, you've come too far anyway and there's no going back to the confusion of old :).....that's the BEAUTY of the process of Expansion."
• "Perhaps you're talking about the voting trail I had set up for these folk whose accts I manage and who have a bit of SP but don't post - your account was on that list. I have now removed it (reluctantly I have to say) from this trail."
• "I point this out because it seems as if you have given some of your power away (not to me btw! and I'm not interested in taking anything from you!) by blaming me for how you feel (for doing stuff to you - manipulation blah blah)"

From Love To Hate In 3, 2, 1 …

When I talked to the guy who did the same to another woman, yesterdays, I asked him this question: "How do you feel about her now?" He said, he hates her. And I needed to tell him what I forgot to tell the other one before.
"This has never been love but you projecting your fear of rejection on someone to recycle this feeling, over and over again." What kind of love turns into hate over the course of a few months? How can you even fall in love that quickly? Why would you even call it that without ever testing your body's reaction to the other person? How come you confuse your steem investment with a gift? Why do you start a relationship by giving someone money? I thought all of this should be clear. Obviously, it's not for those who keep playing this game.

So if you want to delegate money to me

Of course, go ahead! I am absolutely worth your money. I work on my content every day, I curate as conscious as I can and I am definitely a helpful member of this community. Just don't expect me to feel or do anything in return.