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Maybe she thought I said hell hole and was talking about her mouth. Nice lips but ferocious voice that didn't seem to match. Like nature bought random human parts at a yard sale that day, or something.

I can't believe my forehead might just be one big typo. The blisters help blend everything together so I don't think most people notice much when they're done staring at me. I suppose I could maybe buy some gauze?

As for the conspiracy theory. NO COMMENT. I'm sure they're watching.

They are always watching. It is why I pick my underthings with such care each morning. One mustn't disappoint even when playing the game.

Have you tried looking in the mirror whilst standing upside down? It might read better that way?

Have you tried looking in the mirror whilst standing upside down? It might read better that way?

That's how I masturbate and no I haven't seen an improvement.

Gravity is cheaper than Viagra.