My Sexual Assault Story - Break the Silence

in #steemit8 years ago (edited)

  

   Hello my fellow Steemians ! This is Layla again, it is really hard for me to write this down but I have something to get off my chest, I never told anyone about this even to my parents, but I think this is the right time and the right place to share my story. So today I took the courage to write this down for you guys.


Check out my last post + verification : 

https://steemit.com/steemit/@ricegum/explore-the-fashion-world-with-a-steemit-girl



 


  This happened when I went to the Paris Fashion Week. Throughout the course of this week I had the pleasure to attend to 5 fashion shows, from starting designers to the widely-known names amongst us. The city offers so much to see but especially during this time it is such a pleasure for the eye walking around here. So many well and creatively dressed people everywhere from around the world. Even some grandpas here seem to have more style than the younger generation . The people that is visiting the shows is the most interesting and one of a kind. I saw men wearing feather dresses and women freezing in their transparent summer looks with 6°C outside. Can you imagine that? That’s fashion week from the outside.  

I usually have my boyfriend with me, but he was sick. I decided to go alone. Most of the people at the fashion week was very kind. Everyone was super helpful, people helped me cross the street, I couldn't find an elevator so I asked a guy to help me find it, he was such a gentleman. I had a blast. Around midnight I was pushing my way to the metro station to make sure I didn't miss the last train. There were still huge crowds everywhere.


 


   A tall man at a crosswalk started talking to me, asking me if I have a cigarette and then he asked me if I need help. I politely declined, but he kept insisting. The light changed and I crossed the street. I didn't realize he followed me until I made it into the station and the crowds thinned out. There were only a few people and suddenly the man was there. He offered to help me again, and again I declined. He insisted, grabbed me into the elevator. He started telling me I was pretty and smelled good and when the door closed he tried to force me to kiss him. I kept pushing him away and he kept trying to kiss and grope me, leave smears of sweaty drool kisses on my face as I turned away. I always thought that if I were in this situation I would fight back, but instead, I was just desperate to not escalate the situation to violence. I was sitting down and he was basically on top of me, and trapped as I was in that tiny elevator I couldn't stand up, get leverage, or get away.


 


   The doors of the elevator opened and finally, there were a crowd of people who went to see the show. He pulled away. A train came to a stop at that exact moment and I rolled onto it so fast I nearly knocked a an old lady over. As the doors closed behind me he waved, yelling "Don't forget me!" 

Trust me, I won't. I know it sounds stupid, but I really thought I was going to fight back and never let these things happen but I wasn't ready for this. The world is not safe especially when you are a woman and alone, I encourage all the ladies to always have a friend with them.


Cheers,

Layla

Sort:  

It's so crazy how fast things can happen!
Whenever i see a young woman walking the busy streets alone in the evening while driving past i always think how brave they are for not being scared that something might happen to them.
I could never do that.
I am so sorry that happened to you, that is very scary! I know what you mean when you say you always thought you would fight back if that ever happened to you.
Its like saying if someone was yelling in my face and getting all crazy I'd yell back and get back in their face. Well, it rarely ever happens that way for me.
I feel like my number one got to is to just get away.. Must be the fight or flight in each individual.

From the post:
"I usually have my boyfriend with me, but he was sick. I decided to go alone. Most of the people at the fashion week was very kind. Everyone was super helpful, people helped me cross the street, I couldn't find an elevator so I asked a guy to help me find it, he was such a gentleman. I had a blast. Around midnight I was pushing my way to the metro station to make sure I didn't miss the last train. There were still huge crowds everywhere.
A tall man at a crosswalk started talking to me, asking me if I have a cigarette and then he asked me if I need help. I politely declined, but he kept insisting. The light changed and I crossed the street. I didn't realize he followed me until I made it into the station and the crowds thinned out. There were only a few people and suddenly the man was there. He offered to help me again, and again I declined. He insisted, grabbed me into the elevator. "

From:
I thought I was immune to sexual assault....I was wrong.
https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/3jv2vp/i_thought_i_was_immune_to_sexual_assaulti_was
"I usually have my husband with me, but he was sick. I decided to go it alone.

Most of the festival was great. Everyone was super helpful, people helped me cross the street, one guy helped me get my chair up and down an escalator when I couldn't find an elevator. I had a blast.

Around midnight I was pushing my way to the subway station to make sure I didn't miss the last train. There were still huge crowds everywhere. A guy at a crosswalk started talking to me, asking me if I needed help. I politely declined, but he kept insisting. The light changed and I crossed the street. I didn't realize he followed me until I made it into the station and the crowds thinned out. There were only a few people and suddenly he was there. He offered to help me again, and again I declined. He insisted, grabbed the handles of my chair, and wheeled me into the elevator."

Ripped story, details changed.

From the post:
"I usually have my boyfriend with me, but he was sick. I decided to go alone. Most of the people at the fashion week was very kind. Everyone was super helpful, people helped me cross the street, I couldn't find an elevator so I asked a guy to help me find it, he was such a gentleman. I had a blast. Around midnight I was pushing my way to the metro station to make sure I didn't miss the last train. There were still huge crowds everywhere.
A tall man at a crosswalk started talking to me, asking me if I have a cigarette and then he asked me if I need help. I politely declined, but he kept insisting. The light changed and I crossed the street. I didn't realize he followed me until I made it into the station and the crowds thinned out. There were only a few people and suddenly the man was there. He offered to help me again, and again I declined. He insisted, grabbed me into the elevator. "

From:
I thought I was immune to sexual assault....I was wrong.
https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/3jv2vp/i_thought_i_was_immune_to_sexual_assaulti_was
"I usually have my husband with me, but he was sick. I decided to go it alone.

Most of the festival was great. Everyone was super helpful, people helped me cross the street, one guy helped me get my chair up and down an escalator when I couldn't find an elevator. I had a blast.

Around midnight I was pushing my way to the subway station to make sure I didn't miss the last train. There were still huge crowds everywhere. A guy at a crosswalk started talking to me, asking me if I needed help. I politely declined, but he kept insisting. The light changed and I crossed the street. I didn't realize he followed me until I made it into the station and the crowds thinned out. There were only a few people and suddenly he was there. He offered to help me again, and again I declined. He insisted, grabbed the handles of my chair, and wheeled me into the elevator."

Ripped story, details changed.

I think most people who are forced into such horrific experiences have a hard time fighting back because of the shock of it all. Don't blame yourself for not fighting back. You are probably right that it could have escalated more violence, but either way you are left with these painful memories and scars to endure. It is amazing that you are able to talk about it, as that is such a private thing to go through. I am really glad you shared your story. It is a scary situation when you wanted to just feel safe without needing supervision and the one time that you didn't, you were taken advantage of, and that is not cool at all. We women should not have to fear to be alone and treated poorly simply for living out a normal day.

From the post:
"I usually have my boyfriend with me, but he was sick. I decided to go alone. Most of the people at the fashion week was very kind. Everyone was super helpful, people helped me cross the street, I couldn't find an elevator so I asked a guy to help me find it, he was such a gentleman. I had a blast. Around midnight I was pushing my way to the metro station to make sure I didn't miss the last train. There were still huge crowds everywhere.
A tall man at a crosswalk started talking to me, asking me if I have a cigarette and then he asked me if I need help. I politely declined, but he kept insisting. The light changed and I crossed the street. I didn't realize he followed me until I made it into the station and the crowds thinned out. There were only a few people and suddenly the man was there. He offered to help me again, and again I declined. He insisted, grabbed me into the elevator. "

From:
I thought I was immune to sexual assault....I was wrong.
https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/3jv2vp/i_thought_i_was_immune_to_sexual_assaulti_was
"I usually have my husband with me, but he was sick. I decided to go it alone.

Most of the festival was great. Everyone was super helpful, people helped me cross the street, one guy helped me get my chair up and down an escalator when I couldn't find an elevator. I had a blast.

Around midnight I was pushing my way to the subway station to make sure I didn't miss the last train. There were still huge crowds everywhere. A guy at a crosswalk started talking to me, asking me if I needed help. I politely declined, but he kept insisting. The light changed and I crossed the street. I didn't realize he followed me until I made it into the station and the crowds thinned out. There were only a few people and suddenly he was there. He offered to help me again, and again I declined. He insisted, grabbed the handles of my chair, and wheeled me into the elevator."

Ripped story, details changed.

Well that is upsetting. That is not cool to lie about at all.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. The world can be incredibly disgusting. I hope you reported him even if the chances of catching him were low it is always worth reporting this. I completely agree with @justicepirate on this. It is never your fault no matter what you did or didn't do.

From the post:
"I usually have my boyfriend with me, but he was sick. I decided to go alone. Most of the people at the fashion week was very kind. Everyone was super helpful, people helped me cross the street, I couldn't find an elevator so I asked a guy to help me find it, he was such a gentleman. I had a blast. Around midnight I was pushing my way to the metro station to make sure I didn't miss the last train. There were still huge crowds everywhere.
A tall man at a crosswalk started talking to me, asking me if I have a cigarette and then he asked me if I need help. I politely declined, but he kept insisting. The light changed and I crossed the street. I didn't realize he followed me until I made it into the station and the crowds thinned out. There were only a few people and suddenly the man was there. He offered to help me again, and again I declined. He insisted, grabbed me into the elevator. "

From:
I thought I was immune to sexual assault....I was wrong.
https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/3jv2vp/i_thought_i_was_immune_to_sexual_assaulti_was
"I usually have my husband with me, but he was sick. I decided to go it alone.

Most of the festival was great. Everyone was super helpful, people helped me cross the street, one guy helped me get my chair up and down an escalator when I couldn't find an elevator. I had a blast.

Around midnight I was pushing my way to the subway station to make sure I didn't miss the last train. There were still huge crowds everywhere. A guy at a crosswalk started talking to me, asking me if I needed help. I politely declined, but he kept insisting. The light changed and I crossed the street. I didn't realize he followed me until I made it into the station and the crowds thinned out. There were only a few people and suddenly he was there. He offered to help me again, and again I declined. He insisted, grabbed the handles of my chair, and wheeled me into the elevator."

Ripped story, details changed.