My whole world has been shattered just in a day!

Hey Steemians,

Shital here. A brief introduction of me.

I am a 24 y/o girl. My family includes me, Dad, Mom, my younger brother . So, basically I am the eldest girl of my family. I have done Bachelors in 2017. I always wanted to do something for my nation. So, I started to prepare for Civil Services Examinations. Well, it was actually my Dad's dream to see me as a Civil Servant. Unfortunately, I didn't succeeded till now. I hate myself that my Dad asked me for just one thing and I couldn't gave him i.e clearing Civil Services. I am thankful to my parents that they're letting me live at home even after being unemployed.

Fast forward, it's been almost 3 years since I graduated and I couldn't make through the exam. I hate myself! It's like I am getting into a never ending struggle where when I stop struggling, I will fall into a well like this.

Digital Art GIF By Robert Ek

The main notion behind this post is I WANT TO SAVE MY DAD!! MY WHOLE WORLD GOT SHATTERED JUST YESTERDAY EVENING when I got to know that my Dad has been diagnosed with Cancer. My heart broke into pieces and I am crying since then every minute because I can't see my Dad in his pain. I just love my Dad. He is the same man who has been firmly standing with me in my every right and wrong decisions. He always believed in me. He never considered me a girl rather he says, "She is my eldest son. She will make me proud one day." His words give me inspiration whenever I wanted to quit. Yes, I am on the verge of getting into depression but his words and faith in me always brings me back.

My Dad is a really simple man. He always smiles in difficult situations. He is not much educated but he wanted that his children must receive best education unlike him and he toils day and night for us.

Such lively my Dad is! But he no more smiles, he no more seems happy. It breaks my heart seeing him in this condition, the person who used to inspire others to live, no more wanted to live. I hate myself that I am not in a state to help him. He is the sole bread earner of my family. I regret my decision to take up civil services prep without any backup. I will take up any job once he gets well but for now his treatment is very important. Because his condition is degrading with time and if we don't operate him within one week, things can get worse. I never said this to him but I love you Dad so much than anything in this world.

GOD!!!!! Take away my life but please save my Dad. He's so young at 54. I am a useless creature. I don't deserve this life. I don't deserve my Dad. He is the most purest form of soul I ever saw. How can you be so heartless, God? Killing myself is no use because , this will break my Mom. Oh God, Why me? Always me?

May God cure my Dad completely.
Amen.

Please upvote and resteem.
@steemcurator01 @steemcurator02 @steemcurator03 @steemalive @trafalgar @cryptokannon