User @cogliostro called on me to help answer some questions he has regarding sexism.

Clearly, this person hasn’t read any of my articles. Yesterday I posted interviews from men AND women discussing gender roles and social constructs, and how it has affected them personally.

I digress. I will be addressing this user’s request regardless, because I think it is important.

Where do I begin?

It’s a bold statement to argue sexism isn’t harmful to men, or women.

If that’s the case, then just who is it harmful to? That argument doesn’t make any sense.

I’m going to assume he meant sexist assumptions aren’t harmful. I still disagree. Gender discrimination is still discrimination, regardless of how it takes form.

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Debunking The Myth

The image in question.

This picture is sexist for a variety of reasons.

In case you forgot, here’s a refresher on what that word means.

Sex·ism: prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, typically against women, on the basis of sex.

By definition, the picture covers all bases.

A lot of people argue that because sometimes these assumptions are beneficial to people, that implies that it’s not actually an example of sexism. That is not true. In fact, most women feel that chivalry is a sexist ideal in itself.

Does that mean it’s always sexist? No!

We have to distinguish the differences. If the man in the illustration is paying for the meal out of kindness, it’s not sexist. However, if he is paying for the meal because he feels he is required to, then yes, it is sexist.

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Sexism Hurts Everyone

Okay, so we have covered some disparities on sexist assumptions. Now I want to talk about how this type of assumption is harmful to men as well as women.

Since @cogliostro didn’t want me to quote a feminist, I’ll take this opportunity to share some submissions I have received from men on gender roles, and how it has affected them.

Dominic:

”I think teaching boys that they have to be the breadwinners and should have what they want is just as bad as shaming the webcam girl who likes to feel desired and sexy.”

Tony:

”Some of the most egregious examples of toxic behaviors are anti-intellectualism, male pride and spendthrift. By themselves, looked at objectively, it's something that needs to be corrected. But the big problem is that all of these behaviors are socially acceptable, and often encouraged.”

Matt:

”You feel pressured to act in a certain way that may not be natural but you are in some ways forced to adapt to society's gender roles.”

These are just some of many examples I have received.

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Men Deal With It, Too

The illustration shows some ways sexism affects males too. We assume that men should make the money and pay for meals, which isn’t just bad for the women that it excludes, but it’s also hurtful to the men that don’t fit into that role.

There are endless reasons sexist culture is hurtful to men. Mainly, though, it’s gender bias. Men are often portrayed to be macho, have no emotions, be aggressive, etc.
In conclusion, I think it’s obvious that sexism, as well as gender roles and social constructs, are harmful to everyone involved. We assume men and women should be one way, or another.

You know what they say about assumptions.

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Thanks, @cogliostro, for asking me to go into more detail on the subject. I hope this helps.

Xoxo Vera