5 WTF Real Jobs (That Allow You To Commit Legal Crimes)

You may be asked to do all sorts of strange, debasing things at your job: talking to customers without swearing, not taking swings at the HR manager, or most perverse of all, singing "Happy Birthday" to Gary from Accounting. And somehow, it's entirely legal for your boss to demand you participate in such base atrocities. But those are not the weirdest things people have been asked to do for work. For example ...

5
You Could Taste-Test Drugs At UK Musical Festivals

Having a drug tester set up shop right at the entrance of a music festival seems like a good way to ensure a boring music festival. But not if it's Fiona Measham and her organization, Loop. They don't give a good goddamn about testing you for drugs. Instead, they test your drugs for you. To make sure they're good enough. We know what you're thinking, and somehow this is not a front for a needlessly elaborate sting operation.

Loop knows that people are going to use drugs, and figures that someone should make sure they're not going to die from it, because the government sure as hell isn't going to. In 2015, a record 3,674 drug deaths were recorded in the country.

Though Loop boldly asks drug users to walk right up to them and hand them some drugs to test, they somehow manage to duck under the long arm of the law. How do they pull that off? By skipping the feds and negotiating with local authorities and police directly, who are far more likely to acknowledge the reality of drug use. (We assume that Measham's other gig as Professor of Criminology at Durham University doesn't exactly hurt when making her case.) That's how Loop reached a live and let live agreement with cops presiding over music festivals, and no one seems too keen to violate that treaty. In 2017, Loop has tents in up to ten major festivals around the country, and it's growing. There's only one vital question left unanswered here: Do they make house calls?

4
You Could Be A Legal Contract Killer In The Phillipines

The president of the Philippines, Rodrigo Duterte, has a plan to rid his country of its drug problem: trying to kill everyone who has ever been in the general vicinity of narcotic substances. It's not a great plan. He can't personally shoot every drug user and dealer in the country, no matter how badly he wants to, so he's turned to a Hollywood cliche for help: hitmen for hire.

During the first seven months of Duterte's presidency, Amnesty International estimated up to 7,000 drug killings in the country, around 2,500 of which were done by actual policemen. How accurate those numbers are is anyone's guess, but they still leave thousands of victims unaccounted for. Enter Duterte's sanctioned contract killers. These are usually poor, desperate people like "Maria," a diminutive young woman who says she's personally killed six people as a part of a three-woman assassin group, or "ACE" and "Sheila," a husband-and-wife team who claim a whopping 800 killings. All of them say they're financed by law enforcement and get their orders directly from high-ranking police officers.

After they get a call, ACE and Sheila say they generally have to adhere to a three-day deadline, and if they can, leave cards with the text "PUSHER" on the bodies -- because the job just wouldn't be evil enough without a goddamned supervillain calling card. Sometimes the hit requires creativity; Sheila recounts jobs wherein she had to masquerade as a club dancer to get close to the target. A successful hit nets the killer a prize of up to $430, and then they go back on the waiting list -- because they can never stop, not unless they want to become targets themselves.

3
Your Boss Might Order You To Rob Your Own Place Of Employment

When a car company wants to crash-test a car, they crash it. When an airplane company wants to test the durability of a jet engine, they try to break it. When a bank wants to test security ...

Yeah, you guessed it.

In 2016, an employee of the Greensboro, NC branch of BB&T was opening up when a masked man approached, pointed a gun at him, and generally went through all the motions of an extremely efficient robbery. The employee tried to alert the police with the handheld alarm device he was carrying, but to his growing horror, no one responded. This incident turned out to be a robbery drill designed for another branch of the bank. The robber was a teller from that bank, and the cops were in on the joke. The employee hadn't been informed for the sake of authenticity.

Read more http://www.cracked.com/article_24889_drug-taste-tester-5-totally-legal-jobs-you-can-actually-get.html

For more things you can do to pay for your Candy Crush addiction, check out 4 'Slacker' Jobs That Actually Pay Amazingly Well and 5 Horrifying Jobs That Almost Make You Prefer Unemployment.