You are not the key

I've been having a difficult time.
I could not find a good reason to motivate myself into continuing my studies.

If you have a purpose driven life, it adds years to your life.
You live longer.

We have days where we feel like kicking and screaming at the students in our classrooms because they become impossible to handle as we approach the end of the term.

I enjoyed my first year of teaching. It was heaven.
The next, was hell.

Grade 2's were easy. I loved my job.
When placed in a higher grade because of my degree, I was given children who were incorrigible.
There were a few kids who made it difficult, but one was impossible.

One day this kid was standing, one foot outside, one inside.
Disturbing my classroom and making it rather hard to keep the rest of the class intact.

I am very ashamed but I did indeed lose it.
I snapped...

Before I could reach him, however, he had ran out of the door.
Thank goodness.

I could not do it anymore.
I realised I felt terrible, I needed to end it. He had to leave or I would.

I now realise that that is not the solution.
That never would have been.

We as teachers depend on each other for reasons beyond coffee dates, broken pencils or even grading help.
We depend on each other for understanding, enlightenment, courage...
After it all happend I sat with a friend and she told me something that I would never forget...

"You are not the key to every door."

That was terrible.
I wanted to become that key to every door.

I wanted to be that teacher...
I STILL want to be THAT teacher!

I want to be the teacher, the other teacher send the kids to because Mrs A knows what to do with him, or make her feel better.
And know, I am working at it every day...
This, I had realised, was the reason for me to continue my studies...

Today I urge all of you..

BE THE KEY, TO EVERY DOOR...