@STEEMPARENTS CONTEST

Hi Guys,

I’m relatively new to Steemit and I’m still navigating my way around. I was lucky enough to come across @xyzashu who kindly shared this contest with me.
I love the idea of @steemparents. For all mums, dads and guardians to be able to share their journeys and hopefully help each other along the way.

Being a mum is the one label I’m proud to hold. I’ve enjoyed my parenting journey so far. My little man is 6 years old. It’s been a real rollercoaster of emotions. I felt I knew what type of parent I wanted to be, the type of parent that is probably the opposite of my own parents. I wanted to be fun and friendly, I wanted a relationship that I’m not sure is realistic (without a string of issues as they get older). Now, I laugh at my sentiment. The reality of parenting is far different to the pre-conceived idealistic notion that I somehow convinced myself could be a reality. It’s far more detailed. It’s an incredible balance of fun and firm, give and take, yes and no.

I decided that although I couldn’t have – what I consider – a picture-perfect relationship with my son, I was going to make sure that I have a relationship that is real. Where, I display my own personality and accept his. Where we learn to respect each other’s differences and respect each other. My son and I work on our relationship, after all, it’s like any other. I’m his friend and his mother. I don’t demand, I explain. I allow him to set the expectations based on what he feels he’s capable of doing. His pride above mine. His effort above my expectations.

We are in a great place, we have a loving bond on a foundation of trust and respect. We can talk about anything. He’s a very gentle little boy with typical “boy” interests, so he has a very interesting, dynamic personality. He’s so loyal and compassionate.

I could never explain in any detail that will do justice, the love I have for him. I have never felt this way about another human. Everything I do is geared toward making his life incredible. People say: “don’t lose yourself” being a mum. The truth is, I feel like I’ve found myself being a mum. Any sacrifice that I have had to make for his sake is an honour.

What I’ve found interesting, in the first year, I found myself consumed with buying him things. This walker, that teddy, the list goes on. On his first birthday, he had not 1 but 3 huge custom-made birthday cakes and a motorised car along with 30 other gifts. To me, I equated love and care with material things. Then… maternity leave ended and I went back to work. He went to nursery. This was - by far - the hardest period of motherhood for me. My goodness, I was a wreck. I was constantly down, emotional and wracked with an increasing burden of guilt. I started to realise that toys and gifts didn’t equate love, time did. Shortly after that I was able to work at night so I could be there during the day. This completely changed my life. Being able to spend actual time, being in the moment and not missing the things that are important to him – priceless.

I have witnessed purchasing a toy today and it being forgotten tomorrow – the conversations I’m able to have with my son about poignant moments for him, things we have done together, achievements I have been able to witness, all memories kept alive by the fact that we actually have the time to talk about them.

The best thing to come out of this – the freedom of time – is the ability to have consistency and routine. It’s been the best thing for his education. The routine means that on a typical day, I pick him up from school, we come home and do homework and reading. We practise piano and violin and he has free time until bath and bedtime. He knows what he has to do, he has done it for so long that there are no complaints or tantrums and ultimately, that benefits him the most.

Academically, he is doing incredibly well. He’s able to thrive at school and have the consistent of continuation at home. He has high expectations of himself and for the most part surpasses those expectations.

Whilst I love spending every spare moment with my son, I also enjoy communicating with parents that are on a similar wavelength to me. That's where the @steemparents Discord Channel comes in https://discord.gg/vUgsR5W. This wonderful, unpredictable journey called parenthood isn’t always easy. To be able to share knowledge, experience and suggestions can only make it a little easier. Sometimes, we just need to rant or unload. With popularity and increasing contributors, in time, this could be a great tool. If you want to donate, you can do @steemparents.

What do I love about being a mum: my son. He is amazing. He’s smart and funny, compassionate and reasonable. He’s easy to communicate with, he’s grateful (sometimes we have blips ha). He’s fiercely loyal and so very loving. He makes life brighter and better. Most of all (and rather selfishly), he feeds me with an energy that makes me want to grow and become a better mum, and importantly, a better me.

Thanks for reading!
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