Let me tell you something...

in #steemph5 years ago

I remember a year ago, on this day of the month, this time of the day, I was in chaos. Battling with myself. Going through some sh*t.

I wrote a seemingly goodbye letter. Written in my native language, I tried to lure my readers on whats about to happen.

Looking back, I felt so sorry for myself that I had to go through those unnecessary things, but will never regret it for I have learned to value everything.

Now, I am the same person with different viewpoint. Not completely done with the battles in my head but I’m winning.

I have a lot of things to accomplish tho.
I am still afraid of everything. Scared to go to a different path, and to start all over again. But I do know that I will not start again from scratch. I will start from experience. And that’s what keeps my heart burning.

If there’s anything that I regret, that would be the actions and decisions I made that directly affected someone. I became so selfish not only to others but to myself as well.

I am still haunted by the things that I've done – unaware, that hurt them and me. In some ways, I became the person that I don't want to be. And I still blame myself.

That's the problem, I always, always blame myself.

The past year had been such a roller coaster to me. My trust issues has resurfaced and I feel like it intensified even more.

But then, after all that struggle, I managed to keep my head above water – ofcourse with the help of the people around me, old and new.

I became a lot better than I used to.
I learned so much about myself and how much I can handle.
I cannot say that I am at my happiest because Im not there just yet, but I am happier than the year past.

365 days ago, I was fed up with life.
365 days after, I am looking forward to what the world is ahead of me.

Trying to stay positive.
Live free.

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