What Makes a Christian Rationalist Cry

I don’t cry when my closest friend gets in a taxi, moving to another continent; but I do cry when reason in spirituality is threatened. You too might react with a tangle of concerns during ‘worship time’ if your leaders repeated the same strange syllables again and again. They’d say they’re speaking in tongues, but it sounds more like a babbling one-and-a-half year-old. The kind of religion you’ve been raised with, something stable, considered and kept, isn't here. The right side of the brain has a party while the left disintegrates from lack of stimulation.

But this overemphasis of emotions stirs up my emotions, those of a highly linear thinker: my eyes are warm and start sagging. Something is wrong, something is forgotten. I’m not a ‘feely’ person but when people seem to get all Pentecostal on me, I’m unnerved. When I see them speaking in tongues, it often doesn’t look miraculous.

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They're distressed by traditional churches and that millennials don’t come, but I'm distressed by them. Why don't they think hard and ask questions? They just want ‘spirit,’ ‘power,’ ‘presence,’ and ‘healings’. They can rattle off jargon about things they’ve experienced, or only think they’ve experienced. And then, it’s the same people I see arguing and telling others what to do. The problem is, they’ve pushed me more away from faith than bring me to it.

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