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RE: If you want to live longer - play chess (or do one of these things)
I used to play chess like you, but then I took a Bishop to the King! :P
(if you don't find this funny, it is a reference to The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim)
But seriously, I find chess (and any other game, be it sports or tabletops or whatever) boring if you have no worthy opponent and in my "miserable" little life I have found no worthy opponents. Am I doomed to die young? :P
Anyway, great analysis, and at some point in the following days I should give the article you linked at the bottom a more serious read as my mind is going places these days and I can't concentrate to read more.
I used to play a lot with my grandpa. It's not the same since he passed away almost a decade ago. He had a very risky and unpredictable style.