'Tis Pity She's a Whore: A Pop Opera - Act II continued (Bergetto Rejects Annabella)
Act II
Continued...
Bergetto: Wait! No! Wait! (beat). There was this guy.
Donado: You had better make this quick...
Bergetto: I saw him in the street, uncle, and he brushed up against me. I squared off with him and said, “Sir, thou has the judgment of a wild boar, and should count thy blessings as lady luck has touched upon your head the good fortune that I don’t take arms and give you a good hiding.” He just looked at me and said, “What?” And I said, “Watch it, friend, or I shall have to get physical with you.”
DONADO shakes his head with deep consternation.
Bergetto: He took out his sword, Uncle, and tried to stab me.
Annabella: How awful.
Donado: Oh, the reward I would have given him if his aim was true and just. The pain I could further avoid with your forever-absence.
Bergetto: I avoided most of him, but he still got a hit.
BERGETTO gestures toward his wounds.
Annabella: (Smiling) And then what happened?
Bergetto: I just laughed. Then it stuck me. Not an idea, but the sword again. Once I registered the pain and saw the crimson fluid leak from me I know that I might be in a poor situation. Still, I didn’t move from my spot and he stabbed me again. Well, I’m no dullard, after I was stabbed a few more times I knew ‘twas more serious...
Donado: You silly ass.
Bergetto: And then this guy with a beard who looked like a doctor called me into his house and gave me bandages where the guy had cut me.
Donado: (to Annabella and Florio) I’m sorry about this. Truly.
Bergetto: And then that’s when I saw her, Uncle. The maiden. She was beautiful, exquisite. The very vision of Cleopatra! She washed my face and tended to my wounds.
RICHARDETTO and PHILOTIS are snickering at the side of the stage, out of view of the rest of the characters.
DONADO shakes his head again, deeply distressed.
Bergetto: Uncle, I believe that she is the one for me, not Annabella. And I for one shall marry her.
Poggio: She kissed him too, sire.
DONADO sighs, about to cry but holds his tears back.
Annabella: Congratulations, Bergetto.
He bows sarcastically toward ANNABELLA.
Donado: I fear you'll remain as simple as the town drunkard who attends church without his pants! Or more so after he has fallen on his head from a great heat. That simple. Forever and never more!
Bergetto: But Uncle... you should have seen this woman! Ten times better than Annabella. Annabella is like a 4 compared to her.
He gestures to ANNABELLA who laughs in reaction.
FLORIO’S jaw drops.
DONADO tries to pleasantly dust this comment off with nervous laughter and then glares with hatred at BERGETTO.
Donado: He knows not what he does, Florio. Really.
Florio: No worries, sir Donado. ‘Tis understandable, to some extent.
FLORIO smiles pleasantly as DONADO exchanges a look of dismay, tinged with despair.
Florio:And I believe, if I’m not mistaken, the good man speaks of the doctor's assistant and accompanying clarinetist.
Bergetto: If you describe this vision of a woman then your words are far too simple. If meant a woman with features so wonderful that statues made of the purest marble would look like common rocks, a woman with curves that if you traced them with your eyes would cause you sea sickness, as well as two of the biggest, firmest, wonderfully proportionate……eyes you have ever seen, then yes. You’re right.
Florio: A stunning beauty indeed. Though in my experience of seeing her I worry less of sea sickness and more of the blindness she might cause me from nocturnal activities.
Annabella: Father?
Donado: But Annabella...
Florio:Don’t concern yourself with her, dear Donado. As the saying goeseth, the world possesses plenty of fish to occupy the sea.
DONADO looks glum in reaction to this remark and soon appears as if he is about to cry.
Donado: Heaven have mercy.
DONADO faces BERGETTO angrily.
Bergetto: Uncle, I’m sorry?
The final reprise should be belted in a high note for the singer who plays DONADO.
REPRISE
DONADO:
WAS EVER AN ASSHOLE BORN?
RICHARDETTO and PHILOTIS are seen at the side of the stage, in their own pool of light at a distance, giving themselves a single high-five for a job well-done. This should go in time to the final reprise.
BERGETTO:
UNCLE?
DONADO:
YOU HORRIBLE SIGHT!
DONADO grabs BERGETTO by the ear at the end of the song and nearly drags him off stage with wrathful grunts and scowls.
The audience can hear BERGETTO murmuring in the background as he continues to experience/feel the wrath of his Uncle.
POGGIO follows behind, leaving FLORIO with his daughter.
FLORIO and ANNABELLA laugh to each other.
To Be Continued...