Life is really good

in #steemusa7 years ago (edited)

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My day starts out early. I am thieved away from my dreams by the chirping of my Samsung s8. I would probably fall back asleep if it were not for my cats anxiously poking and prodding me. I am their humble servant as they wait for me to pry open their can of food.

I sip on some dark roast black coffee and meditate for about a half hour before I get in the shower, get dressed, kiss my girlfriend goodbye and head out to work. I step outside and breath in the crisp Pennsylvania air, look up at millions of starts and its good to be alive. It takes a little while for the frost to dissolve from my windshield and I pull out of the driveway onto the road. The darkness permeates everything and I watch out for Deer.

It's about 6:20 am as I cruise down rt78. The sky is a giant painting. Blues, browns, and purples all blended together in an imaginary jar of sand art. A faint orange glow starting to rise from the east. The radio is cranking "Soulshine" by the Allman Brothers as I am singing along.

Talking about soulshine, better than sunshine, better than moonshine, Damn sure better than rain

Life didn't have to be this good. Thirty years ago I tried to take my own life. I had problems that I was just not willing to face. I tried drugs to hide the pain but when they stopped working the pain was unbearable. I had secrets that could never be spoken aloud. I struggled with that pain and lived in misery for the next 25 years. I took victims and hostages. My misery loved company. The colossal weight of shame, guilt and resentment drove me to my knees.

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I finally gave up about 5 years ago. I surrendered and made a decision to do life differently. I made a decision to be personally responsible. I made a choice to look for solutions in order to solve my problems instead of avoiding them. I made a decision to no longer be a victim and give others power over me. I risked it all and got vulnerable and let others get to know me as I got to know myself. I shared my deepest darkest secrets, the ones I swore would never touch my lips. I learned how to forgive others and in turn, was able to forgive myself. When I started this new journey I wanted a lot of things, most of all, to be happy.

I never did get any of those things that I wanted, but what I did get was so much more valuable. I found joy in owning and solving my own problems. I made deep connections with people. I stopped being selfish and learned to be selfless. I lost the need to control everyone and everything around me. I developed a practice of gratitude. I discover what it was to have faith and the courage to follow that faith. The best thing that I have found was, myself.

I would gladly give all I have to others that are suffering. I know these people. We are alike. They don't know yet, that there is another way. The best I can do is to share my strength, hope, and experience. We are all on the same journey, just on different parts of the path.

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So many people struggle through life and never ends up deciding what's truly better for them. Glad you found your way, life is a journey.

thank you for sharing such a personal experience. Sometimes putting it out there the way you did in this post will not only help you in the healing process, but it may help someone reading this that you have never met.

Yes, Life is really good! Life is Beautiful! It is interesting, pleasant and satisfying to help people as possible and without excuses, without looking at whom. Regards.

so beautiful

That is a powerful story. I am so glad you not only made it but area thriving rather than just surviving. That personal responsibility is the key isn't it?

Such an inspiring post! Thank you for sharing your journey! It takes work to make life wonderful, and you have obviously done the work!

I have recently been pulling myself out of the same ; i have started my own business a while back, while i dont have any income to speak of, ive been working with a pay it forward system .
I have helped a few people start building their own online empire, and earn money in their spare time ; some have been doing youtube and streaming video games, a few have started looking for affiliate marketing programs, and my most previous client is writing her second book about spiritual practices, while the first one is being typed up and almost ready to be published .
I feel like i have been helping as many people as i possibly and im still looking to help more people !

Hi @sostrin! I am really very impressed by your enlightening post and you. You're a very beauitiful, kind, divine soul and you are shining like a star from your selfless nature. ☺ I am very glad that you choosed the path of surrender instead of giving-up.
There is a blessing of more life surrounding you now.
Let it settle, let it implement. You don't have much to do, you see. In the space of being present, what's meant to find you always does.
It's space of being the empty vessel. You just let life happen through you ~ yet life still happens beautifully. ☺💚🌟

The picture with the tree it is great 😃

Thanks for sharing. I'm sure there are a lot of people here on Steemit that will be able to use your help.

Do you think I would get weird looks if I would have walked into there and taken the same picutes?

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