What do you value most?

What are the things in life that you value most? Is this a question that most of us even think about on a regular basis. The "Grant study" was a 75year study of 268 Harvard sophomores. It was run together with the " Gluek Study which included 456 disadvantaged Boston city youths. You can visit the Wikipedia link here if you are interested in reading it.

It seems that over the years the participant's values changed. In the first part of their lives, they valued money, success, and fame over all else. At the end of 75 years, the people that were the happiest and lived the longest did so because they valued family and connection above all else.

So what do you value? Most people value honesty except but often lie in certain situations. When their girlfriend looks fat in her new sweater and they tell her she looks fine or they tell their boyfriend that he was the best lover that they have ever had. What they are really saying is that they value honesty but, they value not hurting their partners feeling more. So lets go deeper. Do they really value being liked by their partner more than risking being not liked? Its also possible that some other value has taken priority over honesty.

Do you value family and connection and have taken a job in a different state or country because it was better for your career?

I am not picking on people. I am simply saying that most people think they know what they value but the truth is that they have never really deeply explored their values.

I have found that when I explored my values, I had found some that just didn't serve me. In fact, they were not even my values. They were thrust on to me by society. Does this sound familiar. To have a perfect life all you need to do is to go to school, get good grades, go to college, get a good paying job, get married, have 2.5 kids, a house with a white fence and a dog. What a bunch of crap!!!!! Yes that is nice but not necessary for success

I have found through having a practice of daily gratitude that human connection is all that I really need to be content in my life. Its nice to have things but I don't really need them in order to be satisfied. I used to think that unless I did have external things like money, fame and women I couldn't be satisfied. I could never seem to get enough of anything. I always needed more more more.

What have you found when you explored your values? Which values had priority over others? How has your life unfolded following your system of values? We are not responsible for the values we have adopted from others around us however, we are responsible for the values we consciously choose to have.