Hey, I mean you reading this, please read attentively

25 years ago I came into this cruel world so innocent and pure. Born into a religious family. My parents, should I say responsible? Or irresponsible? My mum was a school teacher and my dad, a Pastor. Nobody cared for my needs. I grew up to be very reserved because I didn't know how to start a conversation with people, that was due to my inconsistent communication with my parents who had little or no time for me. Sometimes I considered myself to have been a mistake because they didn't want to have children anymore.

I grew up to be the girl my parents wanted me to be; the young daughter of a Pastor who was so reserved, respectful, intelligent and religious. What a perfect picture of responsible parents I painted them, I never lived the life I wanted to live. I was enrolled into my dad's biblical school to study with the hope of becoming a Pastor, I wasn't happy but what else could I've done.

https://pixabay.com/en/photos/poverty/

I grew up without friends, my only friend was my sketching board and diary. Because I had no one to talk to, I poured out my heart into my diary. I wasn't even allowed to watch TV because my parents thought I'll get corrupted with flashy images from the screen. What a life I lived so helpless and hopeless.

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/177470041539586107/

One night, my mum had travelled on pilgrimage, at that time I was only nine. The worst happened, my dad came into my room and abused me sexually, I didn't know what he had done and he threatened me not to breathe a word to anyone, who would I've spoken to anyway? I kept quite and couldn't say a word to anyone because my dad had to be that great Pastor with a wonderful family. This kept repeating itself till I was 16, then my teacher taught us about sexual harassment, abuse and rape. It was then I realized that my dad has been sexually abusing me, I was traumatized and as usual no one cared.

My academics was very bad because I couldn't concentrate in class anymore because I had a lot on my mind , I had to deal with the fact that my dad would molest me every night and I couldn't say a word to anyone because no one would believe a man who preached against such act would indulge in it

On my 23rd birthday, my dad had a major heart attack and was rushed to the hospital where he was confirmed death, I didn't know if to cry or be happy that my prayers has been answered but I had to cry so that our sympathizers would believe I missed him so much. Was my prayers really answered? Months later I was confirmed pregnant and my mum asked who was responsible , what could I possibly say that would make her believe me? NOTHING, so I said NOTHING. She cherished her reputation than my life so she took me from Lagos and dumped me in Delta, she left me there to suffer on my own and then she told the church that I couldn't bare the shock of my fathers death so I died too, JUST TO PROTECT HER REPUTATION.

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I gave birth to my child months later, not in an hospital because I couldn't afford one. My child? Did I say my child? I don't know if to call her my CHILD or SISTER because we share the same father. I suffered to make earns meet and luckily, I was admitted into one of these foundations that helps the homeless, there I hope on having a better life
https://pixabay.com/en/mother-s-love-person-people-african-1317804/

My child is now 2 years old, I named her Hope because she's my only hope in this cruel world. I was diagnosed of AIDS and am sure I got the disease from my dad.
I hope my pictures are able to communicate my message, the moonlight pictures simply means that I am the darkness because my life is as dark as what you see there and the moon is my daughter whom am hoping on to light up my life.

Maybe by the time the world reads my story I'll be probably dead but I want to let out my emotions to tell this story that I couldn't tell anyone so that the world will know that once on earth lived a girl who had never gained anything from life than cruelty.
Well, my name is Funke Adebayo, a Nigerian and this............... IS MY STORY .