10 Things I Learned From Being Homeless

in #story7 years ago (edited)

This is a very difficult story to tell, but I feel compelled to share and bring awareness to a problem that is growing.

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10 things I learned from being homeless

Sharing a tent in the woods with three teenage boys and six special needs cats. Sounds like the beginning of a bad joke, doesn’t it? That was my reality Summer 2016.

One day I am attending HOA meetings, balancing three teens’ sports and activities, and speed racing through grocery aisles while Googling “Quick easy dinners” and trying to avoid clicking on that viral kitten video. The next moment we are living in the dirt, starting fires to prepare meals, and hauling water. And wishing we had a viral kitten video to click on. Our world and sanity was ripped apart when we found ourselves suddenly thrown onto the street without notice, finances or a vehicle.

Here are 10 hacks to ensure you are prepared for your journey into the world of the Dwelling Challenged.

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10. Activate Stealth Ninja Mode.

Constantly scan your surroundings for places to sleep, everywhere you go. Consider its safety and if it’s hidden enough yet allows for easy access. Imagine your boys coming and going, and weigh the possibilities of avoidance of such threats as human and animal predators, the elements, door to door salesmen…

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9 You are on your own.

Unless you have children in diapers, (who are an appropriate age for diapers), or you’re a single fella who doesn’t mind the indignities you’re forced to endure to acquire the coveted shelter reservation each night, there just isn’t any room in the inn. The majority of shelters have a rule against housing boys aged 12 to 18, citing “the bad things that happen to boys that age in shelters”. After weeks of calling each shelter daily to inquire about open availability, you will eventually hit the lottery and be put on a waiting list. So what if it’s 18 months long, that’s shorter than the reservation list for that trendy new downtown restaurant! Seattle’s world famous Tent Cities have a waiting list of only 4 to 6 months if you don’t mind your fellow homeless tenters as your law enforcement, judge and jury. Sure, there are resources out there. To save money on laundry you can choose one outfit twice a week from a clothing closet that distributes Goodwill’s rejected duds. Dine at rotating soup kitchens a couple nights a week. On other nights you can dine al fresco on cans of dented creamed corn you’ve acquired from the food pantries. (Typically, rules are one food bank visit per household per week.) If you are lucky, you might be given a brand new shiny tent from a generous organization. If you are super fortunate to have a vehicle, you can be granted gas vouchers to ensure you can gather the most out of your weekly food bank excursions, and save three hours a day transit time.

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8 How to budget time.

You might be able to make money, but you can’t make time. When you are homeless everything takes longer. The public shakes their collective head, mumbling “Oh, why doesn’t he just go get a job?” Picture this: You awaken naturally with the rise of the sun, walk to your water source, haul a few gallons back to camp, build and start a fire, then prepare and cook breakfast for your family. After eating, you brush your teeth and douse the fire. Then tote your dirty plates and utensils back to the water source and clean them, then bathe yourself. While you’re at it wash your families clothing articles to save time. You dry yourself, dress in clean clothes, and do what you can with your hair with your little fist sized mirror and no styling products. Then haul your clean kitchenware, bathing supplies and laundry soap, refilled water jugs, and freshly laundered clothing back to camp. Put everything away, hang clothes to dry on nearby trees (or in your tent if you are lucky) and gather your resume (carefully inspecting your hands for filth before touching it), job section from the newspaper, etc, and maneuver to the nearest road to get a ride to town. By this point, you are dusty if its nice weather, muddy if its rainy. Now, if you are a guy, hitchhiking is presumably a bit less scary, but it is stressful if not downright terrifying if you are a female.

Okay, you’ve made it to a company that’s hiring. It’s now lunchtime, and you are in desperate need of a shower as you are starting to smell a bit funky from the stress sweat that even the clinical deodorant can’t mask. Fill out an application and get an appointment for an interview if the Gods are smiling upon you. In that case, find your way back to camp and do it all over again on the day of your interview, with the added stress of not knowing if someone will stop for your outstretched thumb. Then hope you can make it to work each day and your family will be safe while unsupervised in the forest. Try not to wonder how you will juggle trying to get to and from work each day with finding and preparing meals, and keep them sane, healthy, and safe from predators- both two and four legged.

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7 Cabin Fever.

Entertainment while trapped in insanity. Some turn to drugs. Others to alcohol. But the Dwelling Challenged have to have something to occupy the mind or entertain. It’s easy to lose a couple hours bingeing on Netflix, or get lost scrolling steemit, but what do you do when there is no wifi and after unpacking your backpacks you just can’t find that deck of cards you are sure you brought? What do you do when your children, who left behind hundreds of hours of gaming platforms, look to you for a reason to stop the bickering? This is one of the hardest parts about being homeless. Coming up with activities to quell the injustices of the day. We were fortunate to have a solar device charger so the kiddos were able to play a few game apps and listen to the music on their phones. But that doesn't last as long as you hope. Find easy and free hobbies to master. Learn to whittle wood, you never know when you may need the skill!!

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6 Who your friends are.

I am going to be realistic here- no-one has room. Not for someone with the homeless stigma cloud looming over them like Pigpens fog of filth. Some friends, who truly love you, will simply stop talking with you. It’s not that they are unsupportive, although it will certainly feel like it. It is because they truly do not know what to say or do. They wish they could help but lack the resources or ideas. You must ask. They want to help. People want to help you! Be specific.

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5 Being Dwelling Challenged is the best workout.

Seriously, if you want to lose a ton of fat and gain mad muscle, give up your apartment and all but a backpack full of your most important (and necessary for living on the street) belongings, and haul that bad boy all over the county all day, every day. Guaranteed you will lose dozens of pounds and be ripped in a month!

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4 Learn from the best.

There are classes of homelessness. You have your Jocks, who live for and in the outdoors in search of the next mountain to summit and slope to ski, not bothering to waste money on trivials such as rent. There are the Preppy homeless, who were able to foresee their financial demise on the horizon so sold their home and purchased new RVs. They possess fun electronics, satellite cable, thousand-dollar gas grills, and blow-dryers. If you can befriend one of these, go for it! You will eat well at their cookouts, and there’s always beer. But they look down on the rest so be sure your attention capitol is immense. Then there's the Slackers, typically street kids who ran away from home years ago and dabble in chemical opulence. You can spot them by their super large backpacks and sunburned thumbs. They accept the fact they are not rejoining society so they’ve learned to make the best of it. Of course there’s a fair share of hippies, perpetually happy living in their natural environment among the trees and flowers. And cloyingly sickening considering your situation- you WISH you could be so happy! But the best to learn from are the perpetually homeless young families. They like to refer to themselves as “Gypsies”, have a number of small children and travel about the country consuming resources until they wear out their welcome. They are in possession of a plethora of valuable knowledge. Befriend them, they will enlighten you to a variety of hacks accumulated from their years of manipulating the system. Learn from them, watch them. But never trust them. Their knife will surely find your back the moment they see something in you they covet.

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3 You are wrong.

Everything you thought you knew about the homeless is terribly wrong. Yes, there are many people on the street who are mentally ill, and there are a fair share who arrived there due to poor choices. But there is a small subset of the unhoused population that was simply one paycheck away from a life on the street. Stacy was shift manager of a pizza joint. One morning she arrived to work to find signs across the doors that the building closed. The employees standing around, wondering what was going on, their phone calls to the owners going straight to voicemail. After the local news crew arrived, interviewed and investigated, there were more questions than answers. The unemployment checks were not enough to cover rent, and neither Stacy nor her roommate who also worked at the restaurant could find a job in the tight market fast enough to avoid eviction. Stacy was young, naive and easy on the eyes, so a series of unfortunate events revolving predators shattered her already shaky safety net. She chose to sleep in stealth in the woods while saving for a deposit on her own apartment doing odd jobs over exchanging her body for a place to call home. Homelessnessism is a little like racism, and felt by it’s victims just as profoundly.

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2 Comfortably numb.

In the beginning, you will shed many tears each time you have to tell or even think about your story. You will fall, and you will fall hard. You must learn to never panic. Panic kills. Keep your head, as best you can, and keep moving forward and upward. Homelessness is the most difficult challenge to overcome in life. I was the victim of an attempted murder and kidnapping years ago. I escaped with 19 broken bones. That experience was much easier to survive than this- at least I could see the way out.

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1 Once you pop- you can’t stop.

The moment anyone finds out you were homeless, you are granted a dark shroud. Even after the fact. I worked extremely hard to pull my family out. There was no help. Sure, we were the recipients of a few helpful items like sleeping bags (all we were able to escape with were our comforters) cookware, and once a bundle of pre cut wood. But what we needed had already been consumed by the thousands who came before us. We are still cleaning up the mess we were forced to endure, and we learned the hard way to stop telling people we meet our story. I worked hard, it wasn’t even an option not to, but I had to do it alone. Many must give up because there is no light at the end of the tunnel, and day to day survival takes up all time and effort.

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There is an obscene amount of homeless people in America. That little patch of green behind the grocery store? There’s probably a young family living in stealth, desperately trying to keep their kids quiet and hidden. There are 800 families with registered schoolchildren in my county alone which boasts a population of only 269,000.

References: NT Public Schools Homeless Advocate

Please Resteem! More people need to be aware of the harsh realities faced by so many.

Please Upvote, Resteem and Follow!

I appreciate your support :)

For the second in the series, please click here https://steemit.com/homeless/@arbitrarykitten/10-more-things-i-learned-from-being-homeless

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Im sorry you lost me at the parody part.

My mother was homeless at eight y.o. when her parents gave her away to be used as a babysitter and house cleaner. Obviously school was no longer an option. Who knows what else she experienced.

I my self was homeless at 15 y.o. When I left an abusive home to live on my own until I was old enough to join the military.

I'm glad you are trying to inform others that have never experienced homelessness but to be honest I also cant help and think of the fact that you are making money from others misery.

Just a suggestion why dont you decline payment or donate it and update us.

P.S. I'm going to upvote my own post to get it up to the top.

This was my misery, actually. Mine and my boys. We lived it, unfortunately.

Im sorry your family went through that and I apologize if I misunderstood your intentions. I'm just a little sensitive from being homeless as a teenager and then as a single parent with 2 young girls.

Now that I know your back story that further enriches your piece and allows me to look at it from a different perspective. I enjoyed your writing.

Im looking forward to future post from you.
🙂

You must remove the parody tag. When I saw it I thought your story was just out of your imagination.

Just a suggestion why dont you decline payment or donate it and update us.

I completely agree!

I am now an advocate and Public Speaker, trying to bring awareness to all my children and I were forced to endure. It may have been easier for me to write this in a comedic way, but everything here is truth. And so many suffer from homelessness every day, so many that shouldn't be there. Proceeds will go to a family in need. Wonderful thought

I just wrote a post in the German Steemit community (with decline payouts), in which I ask the people to spread and support your post. I borrowed the first picture of your article.

I hope this is in your interest.
https://steemit.com/spenden/@mbit/leseempfehlung

That is so wonderful, and appreciated immensely. Thank you so much <3

Thank you for sharing your story. I have been homeless for a short period of time several years ago. Three people very very dear to me are homeless right now. It can happen to anybody.

When I was in my early 20's I ended up sleeping in a tent for a couple months due to a series of bad decisions and unfortunate events . That wasn't the end of the world and I made it out just fine. Gave me some time to deveolp thankfulness and stack some cash (which wasn't easy sliding by on minimum wage day labor) ,but yes everything is much harder without permanent residence and friends to help.

It has to be far more difficult for someone with children or one who is mentally Ill.

So true- minimum wage barely allows for one person to live, much less a family...

I don't believe in Minimum wage tho..Paying fast food workers 10 bucks an hour here, in AZ, is making it nearly un affordable to eat out at all anymore! Don't you realize that only leads to inflation? Those in Control, only raise the prices of ALL goods needed to survive, and tho you make more per hour, it takes MORE to survive! They KEEP Us broke, so we are Obedient Wage Slaves, and they are just waiting to replace everyone with Robots! I was Homeless before too, Thank God I found my way out, but it took awhile for sure..Most Everyone is one or two paychecks away from it..Living on the Edge..

I totally agree. Noone can survive on their own making minimum wage. It's nearly impossible. Note how I didn't even say live, I said survive

Homelessness in Arizona, Is a HUGE Problem! Go to YouTube, and type in "Life on the Street", and watch that...the Kids from ASU made the film, and there's a great one from 60 Minutes about Children living in Poverty, (which Skyrocketed Under Obama!) St. mary's Food Bank in PHX, is the Largest in the State, and they even take food clear up to the Navajo reservation way up by the Grand canyon, and that is NOT close to PHX! The small town where I work, Casa Grande,was chosen Most Charitable in the State, yet there is NO shelter anywhere for the Homeless? I have even read in various places, that The Gov't is Disappearing Homeless people from some places!! Rumors they are being taken to FEMA camps abound! This is entirely possible,IMO, as these People are the Most Vunerable in Our Society, yet they are almost Invisible at the same time, no one notices they are missing? You have to write more..:)

A man recently made headlines here. He is earning his degree at University of Washington. Has a part time job. Has been living in his car in the parking lot for three years. He can't afford to live on or off campus.

He eats in the dorms, showers in the gym. And is thankful every day because he knows it could be much worse.

I will check out the videos, thanks for the share.

I have two sister articles to this in the pipeline already :)

Thanks for reading! I look forward to learning and talking with you more, and growing together in this awesome community!

Being homeless can make you smart, many don't know this another thing it teaches you is to value what you have.. nice post.

It definitely made me aware of strength I didn't know I had...

I was reading it yesterday, and I got to almost the end, and it froze for some reason, I couldnt get back til today..But it was on my mind all day, I remembered all my struggles, and the hopelessness I felt..was compelled to finish the story..Hope you like one of mine..

I left a comment on your intro ;)

And followed you

I remember being stranded in a town one night with a friend with no money and just trying to find a place to sleep for the night. It was a lot lot tougher than I thought and never want that experience again. Thanks for sharing your story!

It certainly leaves a permanent mark. I am literally terrified of it happening again. I probably have some sort of PTSD from that alone!

This post received a 15% upvote from @randowhale thanks to @firepower! For more information, click here!

Wow. What a post. I can identify with so much of this. And you have a knack for humor and getting a serious point across at the same time. I was homeless before too. And "once you pop, you can't stop" rings so true to me.

I'm happy that you and your family were able to find a way out. So many, unfortunately, do not.

Thank you Shawn. I am thankful you made it out as well. The system sure does not make it easy to do so.

A fascinating account. Thanks for sharing 🦋

Thank you for reading. Be blessed :)

the system again fails us.....people in this day an age shouldn't be homeless, no one should be, but unfortunatley the goverments that try to control us make this impossible and we find there is so many young and old sleeping ruff
You are a credit to the world and a very strong person, more people like you would make this place a better place to live in...well done keep strong

Thank you so much for your encouraging words :)

Thank you for sharing your story. I will admit that, while my mother did struggle raising my sister and I alone, I never had the misfortune of becoming homeless. Growing up, it took my a while to understand why all my friends could have the coolest toys and wear the latest trends in fashion, But I myself was limited to what my sister couldn't fit anymore and looked forward to my mother sneaking us the newest kids meal toys from her fast food job.

She raised us well, though, and we understood and respected the struggle she went through to keep a roof over our heads. I may not have experienced the worse, but I like to think gained a higher level of respect for those who have. I may not have a lot now, but I try to help how I can. The homeless rate is not high where I live, but giving someone else five bucks, a meal, or some extra clothes when they need it isn't going to set me back.

I have a story like yours ( maybe not) butt my mom struggled to keep food and the fridge and the lights on. We have came close to having our lights shut off. Rent ate up most of my mom's check. We were blessed we didn't end up in the streets. Plus my mom was sick and missed a lot of work which also interfered.

Very similar. My mother had to choose between the lights and the hot water. I remember she would boil large pots of water to put in the tub and then add cold water so that we could still have a warm bath. And yes we were blessed as well and I am blessed to have her now. She wasn't sick then, but now she has MS. So we are both on disability and we take care of the house and my two little ones together. I try to do most of the work so that she doesnt have to, but she is always willing to watch the kids when I need a break away.

My mom was on disability from her job but she was fired because the doctor wouldn't sign off on her papers.

It must be difficult for a child. I know how I feel not being able to provide cool toys, I cannot imagine how the kids feel. I realize they will understand later in life, but for the time being it's rough.

It really can be tough. I chose early on no to enforce the belief in Santa and the Tooth fairy. It took on time for my son to question why he wasn't good enough and why Santa didn't bring what he asked for. At the time I was heart broken and didn't know how to explain that Santa is on a tight budget and the Tooth fairy gets paid monthly so she sometimes leaves I.O.Us. It worked out good for our family and both my kids are more understand when it comes to holidays. I make sure they do not ruin it for other kids though. The sad part now is that my daughter is constantly trying to give back her allowance to help with groceries or school clothes. She has a good heart.

Awe, your daughter sounds like a doll. With her attitude and foundation I am confident she will do something wonderful in life :)

Congratulations @arbitrarykitten!
Your post was mentioned in my hit parade in the following categories:

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Oh, wow. I don't even know what to say.

I'm surprised and honored! Thank you!

Wow, what an incredible story. I don't see a shroud of darkness, I see a bold beaming light. The fact that you were able to pull yourself out is a testament to the strength of character. What an eye opening post. Thank you so much for sharing. I'm going to resteem!

You have inspired me to do something to help the homeless in my area. I just wanted to let you know!!!

https://steemit.com/steemit/@walkingkeys/steemit-i-could-use-some-help-feeding-the-homeless